Your Love Is All I Want
by Astarii Amaranth
Summary: -Complete- Eight years after Chihiro left, Haku has finally convinced Yubaba to let him go back to the real world, where he searches to find Chihiro. But what will he find, and what awaits him? Will she even remember him?
1. Introduction

__

Introduction

The boy, nearly a man, stood on the street corner, debating whether or not to approach the foreboding house. By all means it didn't look foreboding, quite the opposite with its china blue door and sparkling windows, but still he wondered whether or not to approach it—there would be no turning back, and everything rested on it.

He had waited so long for this moment, tucked safely away in dreams and fantasies, but now when the moment of truth arrived, he didn't know if he could do it.

__

What will happen when I knock? Will she even remember me? He thought. It had been quite a few years since their adventure, would she even remember his name? With a determined sigh he crossed the street and found his legs taking him to the door—dreaming for this day for so long, he knew he couldn't live with himself if he didn't at least _try_.

His slender hand knocked on the door, and when he found himself waiting for an answer his mind reeled, wondering whether maybe he should bolt or not. He could hear footsteps approaching. _Too late_. He thought.

The door opened with a creak, and when he saw an attractive woman with short brown hair he had half expected to see a pig. She greeted him warmly with a smile, and he wondered what she must think of a stranger asking for her daughter.

"Is Chihiro here?" He heard is voice, but it sounded so distant, so far away. She smiled, or more, broadened the one that was already there.

"Oh, she's at university in Tokyo." Her voice sounded a little disappointed, as if she expected him to be upset. "May I ask who you are?" She was very polite, but he knew she must be very confused at this stranger's appearance.

"Haku." He said simply. "An old friend." He added in way of an explanation. "I was hoping to catch up with her." Her smile dropped to an understanding level and listened as if she expected him to say more. "Do you know where I can find her in Tokyo?" He then prodded.


	2. Reunion and Disappointment

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Reunion and Disappointment

Haku sat on the train, dark hair spilling around his face, his fingers bending and ripping nervously at his ticket.

_Tokyo, One Way_

The letters were typed boldly at the top of the yellow ticket. Why would he need a return ticket? If things didn't work out with Chihiro then Tokyo was as good a place as any to start a life—so late in his life.

He didn't know what he would do. A job was important, but where could he work? University was something most went to, but he had never had any education before—what would they think of a young man who couldn't even pass the first question of a test?

He sighed, probably for the twentieth time on the train. A cart passed by with food, and Haku bought himself a sandwich. The server blinked several times before taking the small lump of gold without question—Haku knew they didn't use gold here, but it was usually worth more than what he was paying for, and so most, though surprised, greedily took the pieces.

He heard a _ding!_, followed by a woman announcing they would arrive in Tokyo in fifteen minutes, and Haku slid deeper into his seat.

^

"Chihiro! The rice is ready!" Maeko called from the back room where the food was cooked. The location was Initsu's, a somewhat fast-food place. Chihiro, her hair spilling out of her messy bun, took the change from a customer.

"OK, Maeko! Just a sec!" She smiled and thanked the customer, then gave him a number to place on his table while she wiped her hands on her red apron out of habit. "Jin, could you watch the register?" She asked as she walked to the kitchen.

"How's business up there?" Maeko asked, passing her two buckets of rice. Chihiro shrugged. "Not that good?"

"In-between." She answered. "Is the daikon radish almost done? Several people have been asking for it." She leant on her left leg, balancing the right bucket on her hip. "Just tell me, OK?" Maeko nodded.

"Here's the rice, Emiko." She handed it to the girl who was in charge of dishing the food, and Emiko dumped it into the large metal pan. "Jin," She turned to the young man who'd taken over the register. "I've got it now." He grinned.

"Looks like I'm off for the day now." She exchanged a knowing smile. "See you later, Chihiro!" He took off his apron and slung it on one of the hooks before grabbing his backpack and leaving out the door.

She sighed. It was eight o'clock, business was slowing down, and she had an impossible load of homework for tonight. She caught herself leaning on the register desk daydreaming just as a handsome young man walked in with jet black hair just touching his shoulders.

It seemed to her she knew him, but that was impossible. When did she start hanging out with popular guys? Well, except Kenji, that is, and she felt out of place with his friends. This guy _had_ to be popular—he was gorgeous! And dressed the way she liked…she straightened herself up as he approached the register.

"Um, hi." He greeted, seeming to stutter. Why should a guy like that stutter? She returned a smile, picking up a pen to take his order. "What's good here?" He then questioned and she thought for a moment.

"That's very good," She pointed a finger to something on the large menu on the wall. "I highly recommend it." She grinned.

"Sure, that sound fine." She passed the paper down to Emiko who started to dish it out, and she started punching his order into the cash register. She gave him the price, and, biting his lip thoughtfully, he handed her a piece of gold. She had a flash of memory, like there was something she was supposed to remember to do, but she shrugged it off.

"Is that enough?" He looked worried, like he had done something wrong, and he began to reach in his pocket to retrieve more.

"Oh, no; that's well more than enough—"

"Just take it; that's all I have." She reluctantly obeyed his persistence, and thought of how funny it would be for Genki to find it in the register after closing. "Thank you."

"Just take a number and sit it on your table, OK?" She glanced quickly at the stack of red plastic cards, and he took one before disappearing to a table. She sighed as if earthquake had just ended, though she couldn't place why she had. Neither could she place why her heart was beating so fast.

Maeko appeared with a plate of daikon radish, grinning slyly. "He was _amazing_!" She whispered through her teeth, passing the dish to Emiko. "Did you even see him?" She hissed.

"Who?" She found herself saying.

"The guy!" Maeko caught herself and quieted down. "The guy who just ordered!" She was trying her best to shout and whisper at the same time. "He was so gorgeous, so handsome…and he gave you gold! That settles it, he's got to be rich." She leant against the counter next to Chihiro.

"It seems like I know him." Chihiro said quietly, but Maeko didn't seem to hear her. "Is that his order?" She snapped at Emiko. "Hey, I'm going to take this to him." And with that she disappeared, and Chihiro didn't even see him leave the restaurant.

^

Chihiro sighed, hooking her apron on the wall and grabbing her coat off another hook. She slid it on as walked to the door, saying her goodbye's to Emiko, Maeko, and Genki who had appeared just to close.

She stepped into the cold, winter wind, and shoved her hands in her pockets, her mind so busy with planning out the rest of her night she couldn't even think of that straight. It was then that she heard someone talk to her.

"Chihiro?" It was a man's voice, and at first she expected Kenji, but the voice was too silky, too refined and smooth. She stopped in her tracks and looked around. The boy who had come into the restaurant appeared and walked to her, and though common sense told her to run, there was a strange comfort about him.

"How do you know my name? Did Maeko—"

"I've known it for a long time now." She could hear his smile rather than see it. "I never thought I'd be able to find you, Tokyo's bigger than I ever expected it to be." The streetlight from several yards away flashed across his face, and suddenly a glimpse of a memory made her heart nearly stop.

"Haku!" She raced into his arms and gave him the biggest hug possible. Apparently he had been wrong; she had remembered him. "Sometimes I thought it was all just a dream," He heard her say, muffled by their embrace. "How did you—when—oh, I have so many questions for you! Do you have a place to stay?" He hadn't even thought about that yet, and he found himself shaking his head. "You can stay with me then! Oh, Haku, I'm so glad to see you!" She squeezed him tighter, just like he had always pictured in his dreams of when they'd meet again.

^

"I can't believe you convinced Yubaba to let you go," She said in awe, a cup of tea in her hand. "it sure took you a long time though, didn't it?" She smiled as he nodded, his fingers being warmed by his own cup of green tea. "How was everyone when you left?" He took a drink and nodded while he swallowed.

"Fine. Good, actually. Especially Lin." He grinned mysteriously, and she leaned forward, trying figure out the mystery. "She got train tickets and fulfilled her dream." Chihiro grinned from ear to ear.

"Are you serious?" She gasped. "Oh, I'm so glad for her!" She pulled her legs up under her on the couch. "That's so good." She said to herself. "So you went to my house back home?" He nodded. "And my mom actually told you where I lived and where I worked?" She seemed surprised. "What did you tell her?"

"I just told her I was an old friend trying to catch up with you." She shook her head in disbelief. "She seemed reluctant, but I suppose she didn't mistake me for a murderer or anything." 

"I'm surprised, but I'm so glad you're here, Haku. We've got so much to catch up on." She adjusted a pillow behind her back.

"You mostly, my life hasn't changed much since you left the bathhouse. How have you been, Chihiro? What's happened? " She seemed contemplative, a little sad, reminiscent. "Nothing bad, I hope?"

"My dad passed away, the year after—the year after I left you." She said, and he instantly felt sorry he asked. "I'm OK with it now, I just don't really like to talk about it when I don't have to." She said quietly.

"Well you don't now." He said comfortingly, and she smiled gratefully. "What about university?" She seemed to brighten considerably. "What are you studying?"

"I'm studying writing—I'm a writer." He seemed a little confused. "I write poetry, books, things like that."

"Oh, that sounds good. Do you like it?" She grinned.

"I love it. I don't know what else I'd do with my life I like it so much. I also am doing a little history on the side as well. World history." This he seemed to understand. Her roommate, Yenshi, appeared in the adjacent kitchen to get something to munch on while she studied in the other room. "I actually—oh! I have a history conference to go to tomorrow," She said sadly. "Maybe I can cancel my ticket—"

"But you've been waiting months to get a ticket for that, Chihiro." Yenshi said from the kitchen.

"But Haku doesn't know the city and—"

"I can show him around during the conference if he wants to…" She looked at Haku to gauge his answer. "I mean, if he doesn't mind. I know I'm not his old friend, but I can at least show him around a bit." Haku, though disappointed, didn't want to ruin Chihiro's plans.

"That would be fine. If _you_ don't mind, Yenshi." He turned around to look at her.

"Of course I wouldn't mind; I don't have any plans or anything." Chihiro looked between them both and nodded.

"OK, that sounds great."


	3. Devestation and Regret

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Devastation and Regret

A citrus and crimson sky was dotted with clouds that shone blue. The sun set against a horizon so distant it was utterly straight, cutting the sun in half, slicing it like an orange it was the color of.

A many-storied building set at the other side of a wooden bridge whose railing was brightest red. A banner blew in the pleasant breeze—the breeze was never unpleasant here. Indeed, it merely caught the banner and fluttered its colors, nothing more…

Haku's eyes split open as fast as a strike of lightning and stayed wide as he took in his surroundings. He expected the sight of his grand chambers inside the bathhouse so much that the simple, obviously college student funded furnishings around shocked him.

He was sleeping on a simple, metal bed, with simple, blue bedding. A simple, white shade was pulled up to reveal a rainy early morning where cars themselves seemed to shudder at the hour as they drove by, their red taillights blurred against the wet window.

Haku sighed. Every night—it never failed—he woke up at the same time with the funny feeling someone was thinking of him. It had become a frustrating truth, yet he couldn't change it. Somewhere around three-thirty is a dreadful time to wake up, he thought to himself, but instead of lying awake he decided for a glass of water in the kitchen.

His feet shuffled out into the hallway and down it to the kitchen, but he dared not turn on a light and wake someone else as well as himself. And, well, why wake someone else up and make them suffer too?

He tried to guide his feet with the neon green light coming from the living room window. It splayed, just barely, across the white linoleum floor, and he shuffled his feet carefully. He knew they had several cats, and the last thing he wanted was to trip over one—or perhaps two.

His hands groped along the cabinets for the one containing the cups, and a voice behind him made him nearly cry out.

"What are you looking for?" It asked simply, casually, and he spun around to see nothing but darkness and shadow. "The light's right behind you." It said again—she said again; for the voice was definitely feminine, and then she chuckled. "The green light from the café across the street doesn't give enough light; I've tripped enough times to realize that."

He felt behind and around for a switch, and when he clicked it on he squeezed his eyes against the light. When finally he blinked them open, he saw Chihiro sitting at the kitchen island, her arm shielding her face at the brow, her other hand holding a grape from a filled bowl.

"Chihiro?" He said, and suddenly was embarrassed at the stupidity of the question. "I didn't think anyone would be up." His voice sounded apologetic. "Why are you?" She popped the grape in her mouth and picked up the bowl, making her way to the fridge.

"I'm always up around now." She shrugged. "I always wake up and can't get back to sleep." She put the bowl in the fridge and shut it, leaning against the door. "It sounds strange, kind of crazy, but I feel like someone's thinking about me. It happened once a long time ago, and now it happens every night." She shrugged again and made her way back to her high-legged chair.

"What about you?" She then asked, and it was his time to shrug, not feeling like offering the same explanation, though his mind reeled, thinking about the mirror perfect similarity.

"I couldn't sleep." He leaned against the tall island opposite her. "It's just…so different here." He began, thankful he could tell the truth now. "I've never, that I can remember, been so far away…" He looked thoughtful, though a bit sad. "without any chance of returning."

"Are you regretting your decision?" She asked, and he shook his head.

"Not at all…though it was the only thing I could ever call home." He gave her a reassuring smile. "I honestly don't think I'd want to return, at least not for a long time, and that only to see how everyone has gotten along. Thing's have changed, Chihiro, since you left. I know it's taken me a long time to convince Yubaba to let me go, but she's changed as well for the better." Chihiro nodded as she listened.

"Is it really OK if Yenshi shows you around tomorrow?" She asked sincerely after a few moments of silence. "If not, really I can—"

"Of course it's fine." He interrupted. "Go to your thing—whatever it is. Sorry, but I don't really understand." He apologized.

"No, that's fine. It's just, I'm a writer, and there's a convention—kind of like a get-together…well, somewhat—and they discuss what genres of writing are popular right now, what's new for writer's, that kind of thing. Kenji got me the tickets, and they are _so_ hard to find. I don't even know how he got them." She was grinning now, her body shaking in giggly excitement.

"Who's Kenji?" He asked; he'd heard his name several times, yet still had no idea who he was. She seemed disheartened, like she just realized she hadn't told him, but the expression only last a moment until she replied.

"Oh, Kenji's my boyfriend. You've probably been confused all night, I'm sorry about that, Haku." She grinned again. _Boyfriend? _He felt so foolish, all these words he had yet to understand. His mind fumbled around to brake up the word. Boy. Friend. A friend that was a boy? That had to be it…didn't it?

"Well, I think I'm going to try to go to bed…wish me luck that I still don't have the weird feeling someone's thinking of me." She laughed, and he wished the same for himself. "With my luck my nose'll start itching as well." She started out of the kitchen but stopped in the doorway and turned around.

"I'm glad you're here, Haku." Her expression was serious, and her lips were set in a sincere fashion with the slightest smile.

He smiled back in a reply.

"Goodnight then." She gave him a smile before turning and making her way down the hall.

Both of them couldn't fall asleep.

^

"Good morning!" Yenshi cheered, ducking quickly in the doorway of Haku's temporary room. He jerked awake and his eyes scanned the room quickly. Had he even fallen asleep the night before?

Yenshi had disappeared since her wake up call, but now she returned with a towel in hand which she quickly tossed to him. He grasped it drowsily and wondered sub consciously what time it was. 

"Time for a shower!" She called while she stood in the doorway. "Bathroom's on your left once you leave this room, soap's in the shower, everything like that. You didn't have any bags, so I bought you a toothbrush at the store this morning, and I washed your clothes as well." He was too tired to take any of it in.

"And, um," She put a finger to her bottom lip in thought. "when you shower—your clothes are in the bathroom by the way—just put those clothes in the hamper and I'll get them later. Or, actually, I'll have Chihiro do it since they're her clothes." She grinned. "Head to the kitchen for some breakfast when you're done, kay?" And with that she disappeared, leaving a very confused Haku to stumble into the bathroom for a shower.

^

Fifteen minutes later Haku entered the kitchen, his vision not so blurred and his mind a little clearer. Chihiro was looking at a newspaper and sipping something steaming in a cup, and Yenshi was cooking at the stove.

"Just take a seat next to Chihiro at the island there—breakfast's almost ready." He had to admire her being so cheerful so early, and already he liked Yenshi. She was just so cheery, so…likable.

He did as he was told, and smiled at the sight of the totally decked-out place setting prepared for him. Yenshi turned around, pan in one hand, spatula in the other, and dished eggs, bacon, and sausage onto his plate.

He said thank you, but she interrupted him, announcing there was more, not to thank him yet. He turned to Chihiro with a brow raised, and she looked at him over her newspaper and smiled with a wink.

"OK," Yenshi sat two buttered and jellied toasts on his plate and poured him orange juice. "Now you can thank me." She grinned and waited for his approval.

"It looks great." He grinned at her and she broadened her own. "Thank you," He bit into an egg. "it's delicious."

"Good, I'm glad you like it. Now I'm gonna go get ready and then we can leave." She disappeared without a word, and Haku dived into his food—it seemed like he hadn't eaten in ages.

"Yenshi's a cool girl; you'll have fun today." She folded her newspaper and put it down. "That is, I still feel bad about leaving you with her, Haku." He shook his head, his mouth fool. "I _am_." She insisted.

"Don't be, Chihiro, I promise that I don't mind." She studied him for a moment before picking up her mug and taking it to the sink.

"If you're sure then…" She looked at him searchingly again, but he only nodded without a change of expression. "Oh, alright." She rinsed out her cup, her fingers sliding over the glass, then shook it out and sat it on a dish rack to dry. "I'm leaving pretty soon, then; Kenji's picking me up—" The doorbell rang, interrupting her. "…now, I suppose."

She walked into the living room—which was basically the same room—and opened the door. A tall guy with choppy brown hair was on the other side, and he smiled. 

"Ready to go?" He asked, and she put a hand up before going to the closet for a coat. It was then that Kenji saw Haku, and a curious expression crossed his face for a moment. "Who—?"

"This is Haku, Kenji. Haku, this is Kenji." She put her coat on. "Haku's…Haku's an old friend of mine come to visit. Yenshi's hanging out with him this afternoon though because Haku's quite the gentleman.

"Haku came in unexpectedly yesterday, he'd been trying to find me, but he wouldn't dare let me pass up this afternoon with you. If that isn't quite a gentleman I don't know what is." She turned and winked at Haku. "We'll all catch up later, kay? Yenshi has a cell phone so we can meet for dinner or something like that." She smiled. "Bye, Haku!" The door closed, Chihiro had left, and Haku hadn't said a word.

^

At fifteen after two Yenshi and Haku plopped into a booth seat at a restaurant, completely tired to the hilt. They both looked down the menu, and Haku opted for something he actually knew the name of.

"So, did I get you too tired, Haku?" Yenshi asked when their food appeared. "You're probably so sick of Tokyo you don't know what to do except move." She laughed, but even it sounded tired, and he only smiled slimly in return. "How about we just catch a movie next?" The suggestion—although he'd never actually _seen_ a movie, just heard of them—sounded great to him, and he agreed.

Six hours later they emerged from the theater, rumpled and sleepy, Haku holding a popcorn bowl and a large soda cup which he tossed in the trash. They had both agreed on a second movie as well, and though the action flicks weren't exactly his cup of tea, it had been quite nice to sit.

"Where should we—" There was a faint beeping coming from her purse, and he looked at it strangely, though he attempted not to. She pulled out a phone, and instantly he felt embarrassed of not knowing what it was.

"Yeah." They stood still while she talked. "Yeah, that'd be fine…OK, yeah…yup…OK, bye!" She hung up the phone and turned to him while her hand sub consciously slipped the phone back in its spot.

"That was Chihiro," She began, and his face brightened. "She wants us to meet them for dinner…that OK?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

^

Half and hour later they arrived at the said restaurant, looking around the room for a trace of Chihiro and Kenji. They found them to the left, towards the back, and with smiles and acknowledging waves went to their table. Chihiro pulled out a seat next to her and bade Haku to sit down at it, which he did, giving her a special smile.

"I'm famished!" Yenshi, always truthful, groaned. "I feel like it's been forever since I ate…" She grinned. "But Haku could tell you a whole different story." They exchanged smiles, visions of lunch and movie-theater ditty's appearing in their minds.

"What looks good here?" Haku asked as he opened his menu, and Chihiro made a move to speak, but Kenji interrupted her.

"It depends on what you like." He said in a bored tone, and Haku, sensing dismissal, glanced down the menus' rows. "Hey, Chihiro, haven't we been here before?" Haku glanced up with his eyes, but not his head.

"Um, I dunno', Kenji." Kenji bit his lip, and Haku eyed him thoughtfully while he waved the waitress over. After they had ordered and had their water glasses filled he was still thinking, but when conversations turned to an actual topic he blinked away his thoughts.

"You know, Tokyo needs to work on it." His eyes flicked to the speaker: Kenji. "When Chihiro and I got out of the car there was one again, sitting in the alley, all dirty and dingy and covered in muck."

Chihiro cast her eyes downward, and Yenshi only listened with vague attention. Although she heard everything, she chose not to be involved.

"Why can't poor people just make some money and become useful in some way." He shook his head, irritated, and Haku's brow rose, now understanding the topic of his words.

"Poor people?" He asked, and Kenji nodded, though he thought Haku was agreeing. "You are quite critical of a social group you don't understand." Kenji's expression changed dramatically. "Obviously, I can tell, you have never had a want or need for money, and so you can not be critical of a class that you have never been a part of, nor understand." Chihiro looked at Haku, though he could not tell—that is, if he even noticed—if her expression was that of wanting him to continue or wanting him to stop, though either way there was a definite surprise factor being played out.

"And you can understand them?" Kenji looked at him mockingly. "I doubt you have ever been part of that class. I can just tell." Haku seemed thoughtful as he put his words together cunningly fast.

"I have spent nearly my entire life working in an operation whose lowest level consists of much poorer even than you have described. Yet they cannot help themselves. They are bound to that class even through birth, for they have no way to elevate themselves." Kenji listened, though he scoffed.

"They have no way to work themselves to a higher level because those at the top, like you, would not give them the chance. They are bound to die perhaps even more in debt than they were born—and then only to leave that debt to their children—destined to be mocked by those indeed who suffer them to be as they are." Kenji rolled his eyes, but Haku's own glistened blacker than black.

"And you created your own band of saviors for them, I suppose? People in the company who would risk themselves to save the less fortunate? I sit in the presence of a upright and virtuous man, I would say." He grinned wickedly.

"Had I had the power than perhaps I could have proved to be more charitable, but I had no power that could help them in any way. However, one thing is for sure; that they deserve our respect, for they work as hard as they can even though they make not enough profit to bring any good to them." Their eyes locked. Haku's shone with determination, and Kenji's with anger and annoyance.

"Your old friend, Chihiro, has proved that he can put his words together well, making himself sound like a regular old Confucius if I might say so myself. But his philosophies would be better written in books that only old and young fools would open for 'words to live by'." He snorted. "They'd waste the rest of us our time."

Haku had kept his head held high and proud the entire time, but when Chihiro sighed so very quietly he looked down at his plate like a dog shunned by his master. He felt embarrassed, like he had shamed her perhaps, and he bit his tongue against his cheek, fighting away this antsy, nervous feeling.

"Look, I've got to go home," Kenji sighed, standing up and pulling out his wallet. He pulled out several bills, a little more than the price of the meal, and set them on the table. "Are you coming with me, Chihiro?" Chihiro looked at Kenji, then Haku, then back to Kenji. He gave her a look that asked her the same question again, and she got up, sliding her purse on her shoulder and looking at Yenshi.

"Can you two make it home OK?" She asked, not daring to look at Haku through embarrassment of Kenji, though he took it, still with his head bowed, that it was that she wasn't pleased with what he had done, and he felt ashamed, color rising to his cheeks.

She left without another word, and Haku sighed.

"Wanna go home?" Yenshi asked quietly, and he nodded.

^

Haku had been mostly silent the entire ride home, but there was a burning question that he couldn't hold back anymore.

"Who is Kenji?" He asked, and Yenshi's hand slid along the steering wheel as the car turned.

"He's her boyfriend." She said simply, and Haku sighed before looking at her questionably again. "Hey, Haku, I don't want to pry…but there's something about you that's not normal, isn't there?" Haku nodded.

"I don't really feel like explaining now." She nodded. "What is a boyfriend?" He asked, sensing it was now OK to admit he didn't understand a lot of things. She smiled, now understanding…a little.

"A boyfriend is someone you date." She said it slowly. "Someone you like, sometimes love—at least you think so at the time" She snorted. "—and someone you hang out with a lot, hold hands, kiss and stuff like that." Haku's heart slid down into his stomach, but he had already guessed; Yenshi was only turning his beliefs into facts.

He sighed, though silently, and longed for home. This wasn't home, he was wrong to have come…wrong to have had expected so much. Chihiro had moved on with her life, and he should have guessed that she would. Just because all his time he had spent thinking of her…. She had a busier life, filled with things like university, and she had no use for memories of a boy she thought only existed in dream.

He leaned back in his seat, utterly devastated, crushed, regretting he had ever chosen to leave.

^

That night, when he got home, he didn't see Chihiro. In fact, he avoided her. Feeling like a child who had done wrong, he went to bed without a word to anyone.

That night, both stayed awake, never sleeping at all, with the constant feeling someone was thinking of them.


	4. Melancholy and Consideration

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Melancholy and Consideration

Haku's eyes slid open, taking in the sunlight around him. He looked around for the clock and groaned.

**__**

2:45

How on earth had he let himself sleep in so late? Though he didn't remember going to sleep at all, he must have…though not until around seven or so. It was then that he last remembered looking at the clock.

He wondered why no one had woken him up, and then the memory of the night before hit him with a jolt. He, for several minutes, considered just staying in bed, but his stomach was growling, and he couldn't hide in here forever.

He climbed out of bed and realized he had gone to sleep in what he had worn the night before, and he looked disapprovingly at the rumpled and wrinkly blue button up shirt and jeans.

With a sigh he brushed a hand through his short hair—he was still not used to it being cut shorter—before straightening his shirt out as best he could. His feet led him out the door and into the hall, then down the length of it and into the kitchen.

It was oddly quiet and still, with dirty dishes in the sink and a half-eaten frozen dinner sitting on the island, a glass of water with nearly melted ice as well next to it. Cold water spotted the glass and left a ring on the blue counter, and the phone was flashing the words, '9 MISSED CALLS' in caps.

A ginger cat was curled in one of the tall, island chairs, its tail hanging off the side and flicking to an fro, and a black cat was sprawled on the rug in front of the sink. His eyes caught sight of something moving in the living room—his eyes darted…but it was only the third and final cat…a black one with white spreading from its breast.

No one was home, and when he made a move for the fridge, for something to eat, he caught sight of a paper, flapping in the breeze of the overhead fan, pinned to the refrigerator door with a magnet.

He pulled it down and his eyes glanced at the signature. It was Yenshi's. He read the letter.

Haku,

Chihiro's at class for most all day, and she won't be home till about 8. I got called into work last minute—I'm sorry—tell Chihiro I won't be home till late tonight. Sorry I haven't been able to tell you in person; you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you…hopefully you even get this.

Help yourself to whatever, and if you want to leave—and trust how I showed you around yesterday—there's a key by the door, on the table, so just lock it when you leave.

Catch you later!

—Yenshi

Haku crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the trash, waking the ginger cat. She looked at him with a scowl and yawned before returning to her sleep filled with all-you-can-eat fish and milk.

He felt in his pocket and was replied with a jingling of change and a rustle of paper bills. Yenshi had taken him to get some of his gold changed, and the event proved he had a lot more money than he thought.

He leant his head side-to-side, was rewarded with several cracks, and grabbed the key by the door before leaving.

^

Chihiro sighed, leaning her books more on her hips as she gained her courage. Swallowing, she stepped into the library and scanned down the rows.

When what she sought wasn't found she went to the section of tables in the university library and was relieved, yet discouraged, to find Kenji sitting, studying.

Determined, she walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up at her and she sat her books down before sitting down herself.

"Kenji," She began. "I need to talk to you."

^

At a quarter after seven, Haku sat down on a bench overlooking a lake dotted with orange, sunset light. He felt like sighing, but there wasn't enough emotion to do so. He sat, drained emotionally, feeling the lack there of physically.

His regret of coming was so severe it was tangible, and his devastation at finding that Chihiro cared for someone else sliced into his heart like a katana.

Why had he been so foolish? Why had he thrown everything he had away for such a slim chance at…such a slim chance at…_her_. The truth was, that he had never guessed that things wouldn't work out. Sure, he had been nervous…but had he ever doubted? _Never_.

He had imagined a warm embrace, the sky to flash lightning in celebration, fireworks to explode behind them. Instead, on a drizzling night, he had found her. The sky hadn't celebrated, and the fireworks had been left alone.

And the next night the devastating truth—that she cared for someone else—had been revealed, leaving him crushed and making him realize how much his foolhardy, crazy decision had been.

He forced a sigh, blowing it through his teeth as he leaned forward on his knees, running his hands through his hair. Why had he come? Why on earth had he come? And now he was stuck…he could never go back. And he wanted to so desperately.

Perhaps—the thought struck him—he could. Perhaps, if he begged Yubaba she would take him back and he could return to his life that was. Perhaps if she knew how much he wanted to return, she'd take pity on him.

With that thought, he decided he'd try. He could at least try, and if it didn't work, so be it; he wouldn't be any worse off than he was now.

The breeze blew a strand of hair in his eyes, and the bottom of his pupils shone purple in color, reflecting the color of the water he sat so near. Yes, he could just try, and he couldn't be any worse off.

^

He slid the key in the lock. Hopefully Chihiro would already be here—it was ten till nine—and he could say goodbye before he lost his courage to leave. Turning the key, the lock clicked and he pushed the door open.

He dropped the key on the table just where he had found it, and a sound caught his ears. It was coming from the living room. He glanced up to see Chihiro sitting on the couch, hugging a pillow, her head shaking. She was crying.

"Yenshi," She managed through her sobs, mistaking Haku's presence for another. He stepped into her sight and she looked up, then gasped—though it was nearly hidden—in surprise. "Haku?" Her brows furrowed and she tried, in vain, to wipe her tears away. "I'm sorry—"

"No, don't be." He sat down next her and put a comforting arm around her shoulder. "What's wrong?" His voice, so hauntingly familiar and calming, soothed her embarrassment away and she fell into an embrace which he returned without a second thought.

"He…we…we broke up." She managed to say, her voice muffled by his own body. "We're…" She began. "not together anymore." Without thinking twice she explained for him, and there wasn't a moment anything was acknowledged to him except that he needed to comfort her.

"Just cry, Chihiro." He smoothed her hair, and his voice, to her, hadn't changed in such a long time. "It's OK to cry." She knew that voice better than her own, it had haunted her every single day, every time she remembered him, every time she thought she had dreamed it all.

Through her suffering, subconsciously she basked in the silky tone, the pitch that suggested knowledge more vast than a scholar. She burrowed her head into his neck and tightened her hold around him.

Did he know what she had gone through for so long? Did he truly know how she had suffered this whole time, never knowing what was real and what was imagination—thinking maybe she had imagined everything?

Her tears were more than just for Kenji now. All her frustration and sadness that she had been through in the past eight years had surfaced—he was here! He was holding her! Everything had truly happened!

He grasped her shoulders and held her away from himself. Her eyes looked at him, wide and suggesting innocent surprise.

"Do you regret it?" His words were as pleasant as a melody. She thought about it…and realized she regretted nothing. She shook her head. "Then don't waste your tears, Chihiro." His hand drew up to her cheek, and she leaned into its warmth.

He made a move like he was moving away, and she grasped his wrist and pulled her back down next to her.

"Haku," She said quietly. "I always thought I had imagined it all." A tear spilled down her cheek. "_But you're here_." She squeezed his hand and he wanted to hold her again. "You have no idea how much this means to me…you have no idea how glad I am that you came." She blinked away another round of crying.

"I've missed you so much, Haku." Now she threw her arms around his neck and he pulled her close, his hands tight around her waist like he never intended to let go.

^

She had fallen asleep in his arms, and now, later, his back was growing unbearably sore where both of their weight was supported on the armrest of the couch. He shifted himself, gauging her reaction, but she barely even stirred in her sleep.

He shifted her weight into his arms and stood up, and his back cracked, reminding him crankily how much it had been through in the last little bit.

He carefully carried her into her room, where he drew the covers back and set her down. Her body naturally shifted itself to make her more comfortable, but as he turned to leave her, her hand shot out and grasped his wrist.

Gently she tugged on it, and he turned around.

"Stay with me," She requested in her sleepy state. "Don't leave me." He sighed and looked down, his eyes seeing nothing, his mind thoughtfully considering.

He nodded, then set down on the bed, taking off his shoes before he slid under the covers next to her.

She turned on her side and slung an arm over his chest, snuggled her head in his shoulder, her hair spilling around his face and smelling of tea tree and patchouli. He breathed in the scent deeply—it was so rich and it nearly intoxicated him.

She shifted; snuggling more, and he moved an arm to rest above and around her head. He glanced down at her hand that rested upon his chest, and a gold ring shimmered on her left middle finger.

It was too dark to see the pattern, but with his right hand he touched it and turned it over and over on her finger. She didn't stir, but she sighed gently.

How could she do this to him? Did she realize how she was torturing him? She thought him a friend when he thought so much more of her, and did she realize with what bittersweetness he cherished this moment?

He let out a sigh of his own, and decided to wrap his arm around her. She stirred, just barely, adjusting to his own adjustment, and he squeezed his eyes shut, taking in every scent, every feeling, every emotion of the moment—when he left he wanted to remember this.

But how could he leave her? And did he still want to? With a pang he realized he didn't want to…but what would happen each time she dated? Would he constantly suffer this pain? He would have to stay, and suffer the pain of seeing her love someone else as he bid her farewell to an evening with another man each time she had a date.

But…he just _couldn't_ leave her.

That night, both slept soundly.


	5. Joy and Sadness

__

Joy and Sadness

Chihiro woke up dazedly, but soon her eyes widened at the realization that she wasn't alone. From her point of view the only thing that could be seen—without moving—was the neck to the waist, and, well, it isn't easy to identify a person with only that amount of manifestation.

She attempted, with all her might, to look up enough to reveal a face, however it was futile—she would move too much, and risk waking the unidentified person.

Could it be Kenji? No, they had broken up the night before. Had he come and patched things together late in the night? Too late for her to remember? No, he hadn't, and even if he had…she wouldn't be in bed with him.

Could it be a serial molester? She'd heard of these cruel men. Oh, how could this happen to her! She wanted to scream, but that would only wake him up. Oh, dear! Where on earth was Yenshi?

She nearly gasped when the person moved—just a touch. However she held herself completely still, mute, silent as the grave. But a breath was only released—it blew the top of her hair—and she sighed in relief.

Half an hour later, Chihiro was bored, waiting for a chance at escape or discovery. It was now, when she had let her guard down, that the person moved again. He—of course it was a he—turned to his other side with a great heave, tossing Chihiro out of the bed, throwing her onto the floor where she made a great _bunk!_

She screamed, but threw her fist into her mouth to silence it. She jumped to her feet and began to scramble—half running, half crawling—to the door, however in the process she caught a glance of the scoundrel who had shared her bed.

She was so surprised her jaw dropped nearly to the floor, her hand unmoving on the doorknob, the door pushed half way open.

Haku? Haku? She looked again, a little closer. Haku? She tiptoed closer. Surely her eyes were deceiving her. Haku? She leaned over the bed and peered most incredulously. Haku!

What on earth—? Haku began to stir, and she booked it to and out the door, her mind still puzzled at the truth she had just been revealed. And here she had been expecting a twisted rapist or something.

It was then that the comedy of the situation hit her like a wave, and she leant against the hallway wall and cracked up laughing harder than she had in weeks—years perhaps.

Yenshi appeared, quite concerned, asking what happened. When Chihiro couldn't answer Yenshi—remembering discovering Chihiro and Haku in the same bed this morning—blushed slightly, smiled knowingly, and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Chihiro to plea her case—against any ideas Yenshi had—fruitlessly; for she couldn't keep a straight face.

Annoyed, she left for a shower, knowing she could clear things up with Yenshi later.

^

Haku and Chihiro strolled lazily down the sidewalk of an old-style garden set in a major Tokyo park. Somewhere in the distance someone strung and played a traditionally Japanese instrument, and the tune brought a hint of happy reminiscence.

"Do you regret leaving?" He turned to her, his piercing eyes all the more breathtaking than they were before, and her question had been forgotten until he spoke, breaking the magnificent silence.

"You've asked me this before." His cool, smooth voice erupted like a pleasant rumble. It had grown ever so deeper, yet he could never have gained on how refined, how perfectly poised his tones were when she had last seen him. He had been a man even then, and now she saw him as something reminiscent of a God.

"But I wonder. You left a lot behind you know, mainly the world you knew. You know nothing here, barely even how much money to pay at stores, barely how to slip your subway ticket through the reader." He chuckled, and she shook her head. "Those things, Haku, are the things that will make you long for home the most."

"And you know what it's like to be in my situation?" He asked her, a small smile on his lips.

"Listen to me!" She poked a finger to her chest, not in the mood to have her words taken lightly. "It's the day to day things you feel incompetent in, the things you feel so far behind, the understandings of little things that will make you wish you were _back where you belonged_." She had heard her words, knew what she had said, but it was the expression on his face that made her wish she had taken them back.

"Where I belong?" He asked quietly, and he tried to stifle the expression on his face, tried to hide the hurt tone of his voice. He wished it to sound as if he merely asked out of curiosity, but for one of the few times in his life he hadn't been able to hide his emotions.

"I didn't mean—" He blinked, looking at her sincerely as she attempted to gather her thoughts. "Haku," She grabbed his arm. "I didn't mean it like that." She said regretfully. "It just came out that way, just like I don't feel I belong in your—just like I didn't come from your world." He knew she was swimming to hide her mistake, and he strove to ease away her discomfort.

He pushed back a strand of hair from her face and drew his hand to grasp her shoulder with a reassuring smile.

"I know, Chihiro." His smile was comforting, warm, forgiving. He gave her a last squeeze on her arm and they continued walking.

^

Haku's feet trod along the sidewalk, the sun setting against his back, his hands slung into his pockets and his shoulders hunched just a little bit.

__

"It's the day to day things you feel incompetent in, the things you feel so far behind, the understandings of little things that will make you wish you were **back where you belonged**."

Chihiro's words rung in his ears like a taunting memory, and his thoughts turned to scene's of their past couple days together.

He saw himself holding up the subway line, trying to shove his ticket in just like everyone else but ultimately different. He saw everyone's faces, and heard Chihiro's kind, patient words.

He saw himself struggling so many times over tiny, insignificant things that Chihiro never thought twice about. Money, clothing, words…all these things he struggled time and time again with.

He had never been awkward, at least not for a long time, and he felt clumsy, slow, in the way…

Maybe she was right.

He leant against the smooth bark of a tree, the orange glow from the sunset warming his face, casting a sheen over his dark hair, and he slid down to the ground.

Maybe she was right?

He recalled how lonely he had been without her for all those years, how desperately he awaited the day his freedom would be granted. How desperately he awaited the moment he could see her again.

There had been a hole there. One that only Chihiro could fill. He had felt it keenly every day that he remained, every day that he yearned to leave. He didn't yearn to leave Tokyo. No, he didn't. Not with the desperate desire that he had to leave the bathhouse. To leave in search of her.

But what he had come to expect upon his arrival had not occurred. He sighed. How many times in the past had he daydreamed of seeing her again? The first person that had made a smile appear on his face?

He was here, with her. But the sequences he had desired—expected—had not happened like he imagined them to play out.

Joy and sadness.

He recalled a line Yenshi had said, that day she had shown him around town.

__

Life is what happens when you are making other plans…

How true it was to his situation. How true it must be to everyone, no matter the events in their life. Nothing happens like you plan it, and he would be foolish to expect them to.

He couldn't go back to the bathhouse. Not until he had _earned_ his way out. He would try his hardest to fit in, to understand. He'd get a job—there had to be one in Tokyo somewhere—he'd study, he'd understand. He'd understand.

No more of this awkwardness. No more.

With determination he stood up.

He would vie for Yenshi's aid. She could teach him how to talk, walk, act, and dress how they did here. She could help him find a job. They'd start tomorrow. She herself had said she had the day 'dismally free'.

His hair he had gotten trimmed to just above his shoulders, but she'd show him how to get it done to fit in seamlessly. He'd buy new clothes, he'd work on the Tokyo lingo—this was it. This is what he could do.

No more sitting around and feeling sorry for himself. No more pathetic whimpering and whining. No more of this dramatic angst.

With that new frame of mind he trotted home happily, and was relieved that Chihiro wasn't home, but Yenshi was.

"Yeshi," He began, barging into the kitchen. She looked up from her bowl of Ramen in a startled manner. "I need your help." She raised a brow. "You know my situation? You know the story of how Chihiro and I met? Do you know all that?" She blinked.

"Well, I know you two are old friends, that you came to catch up, that you like her—" He looked surprised. "Don't deny it. Anyways, what else?" Haku smiled; Yenshi wasn't the casual type.

Fifteen minutes later Yenshi looked at Haku in a new light.

"You don't believe me, do you?" She shook her head.

"No, what I don't believe is that I _do_ believe you." She sighed and set her bowl down. "So now you want to fit in. You didn't know what a writer was that first evening, and I noticed that. Haven't thought of it since except now that you tell me your circumstance. You just want to blend." He nodded.

"Well then," She announced. "You're going to _blend_." He smiled, and she nodded. "Yep, we start tomorrow. I'm off all day, and Chihiro's gone all day, so, all day, you and I are going to take a long stroll through Tokyo." She laughed.

"It's a good thing you changed your gold, and that you have tons, because we're re-doing everything tomorrow. And I mean everything." Haku never realized he'd be this lucky.


	6. Fondue and Boyfriends

Fondue and Boyfriends 

At about six thirty Haku stood outside the door to Chihiro and Yenshi's apartment. And boy, was he tired. But he wasn't about to let anyone notice; he had plans tonight.

Yenshi had done her job well. She had changed clothes, hair, everything she could, not to mention throwing out his old clothes—except for the jacket he wouldn't let her touch—and having him buy another entire wardrobe. (Not like he had had much of a wardrobe beforehand.)

He knocked on the door, and when he heard footsteps he was instantly aware of every change he had undergone that day. His black leather shoes, his black slacks, the gray, ribbed v-neck sweater under a sleek black leather jacket. He was all too aware of his new haircut, still below his ears, but layered and untidy—what word did Yenshi describe its state as? Sexy?—and the newly pierced lobe of his left ear that bore a small, dark, metallic-gray stone called Hematite.

Slick, naturally arching brows furrowed in anticipation as he awaited the moment when someone would open the door. Yenshi? Chihiro? What did it matter? The inevitable was on its way.

The gold door handle turned, his breath caught in his throat, and the plastic around the roses in his right hand crinkled in a surprising sound.

His eyes fell upon Chihiro as she took in both his change in appearance and the flowers. Her eyebrows rose in question, and he handed the white, pink-tipped roses to her.

"Haku, what—"

"I'm taking you out." His pearly teeth sparkled in a smile. "As a kind of—just have a night on the town to get away from everything kind of idea." She returned his smile sweetly. "Now get dressed because I want to eat something."

^

"This was really sweet of you, Haku." Chihiro smiled at him across the booth of a restaurant downtown called Odelia's. They had just opened their menus and had begun looking up and down the rows of entrée's, but both paused at her comment, and Haku basked in the moment where her eyes looked into his with deep sincerity.

But it was over all too quickly for him when she glanced down to her menu once again, and he felt as if sunlight had stopped shining on him.

His eyes darted from entrée to entrée, not truly paying any attention, just listening for any sort of sound from Chihiro, and he glanced up so quickly when she took a sip of water he felt exposed.

"Found what you want?" She asked lazily, folding her menu and setting it on the edge of the table.

"I—I, uh…"

"No?" Her brilliant smile made even his stuttering seem to melt within his memory, and he asked her what she had chosen. "Garlic chicken with rice pilaf." Her dark hair shimmered in the light, her lips pouted around the straw, and her long, full lashes blinked slowly.

It was a moment he would care very deeply to keep frozen in time forever, but he knew it couldn't last. Knew that in a moment a conversation would begin with a topic he wouldn't care for as much as this blessed silence in her company. Knew eventually that he would have to say goodnight to an evening that he wished would last forever.

He asked, "What do you recommend?" hoping to start the inevitable conversation himself, if only to shake himself from the blissful moment. She laughed—only for a moment—something a little louder than perfect, perhaps not as clear as a moviestars', but to him it was like the chiming of silver bells. Music to his ears, and a smile of his own spread as he looked to her questioningly.

"Haku," She began, that breathtaking smile aimed at him, and he basked in its light as he had moments before. "You speak so…" She shook her head slightly, as if to figure him out. "With such a vocabulary. I mean, Kenji never would have asked what I 'recommended'. More like, 'hey, what looks good?'" She laughed further, but her comment struck Haku strangely, as if he wasn't sure that was a good or a bad thing.

He hated Kenji, would never want to be like him. However he also wanted to fit in, and perhaps this idea of 'Kenji', was also an idea of the average _guy_.

"Well," She said pointedly, completely unaware of the mental confusion he was going through. "I like the…" And her voice faded into several different choices that he didn't recall. Paying attention to her glistening hair and sparkling eyes were much more interesting.

He told her to surprise him, and when the waiter came she announced both her choice and Haku's, which was fish, prepared in some special rub she wouldn't convey.

"You're the best, Haku." She said later on in their visit as they poked at the last of their salads. "I'm glad to have you as my friend. Honored, really." She noted the slight blush on his cheeks and poked him on the sleeve with her fork playfully. "I'm serious! You're one in a million.

"You deserve an awesome girl. Really, you do." She said, and his stomach suddenly felt unsteady and hot. He wanted her! Chihiro! But did he deserve her? He wasn't sure.

"Hey," She began as if a wire had connected in her brain. "do you like Yenshi?" She leaned forward, intent on the answer, and every hope he had had for their evening wilted like the last piece of lettuce on his plate.

He shook his head slowly, to which she nodded thoughtfully in return.

"You know, she's seeing someone." He raised a brow. "It's a long-distance relationship. But…" She seemed to consider whether she should continue, and apparently she decided to. "I think she puts more into it than he puts back. Like, she calls, and sends things, etc. And I suppose she does get calls back. It's just that, on the holidays and such, she's always the one to go see _him_. Never has he come here, except once, and I didn't get the best vibes off of him."

She set her fork down, deciding to finish up the topic, but Haku still listened intently. This other side of Yenshi, this other aspect of her life interested him for a reason he couldn't really place. He liked Yenshi. A lot. She had done a lot of good things for him, from laundry to food to spending afternoons showing him around and helping him with his romantic life, even. She deserved someone good, just like Chihiro said Haku deserved someone good. The problem was that, outside fairy tales, rarely does everything go as well as it should. Rarely do people get what they deserve.

^

Haku and Chihiro walked down the sidewalk. The surface was damp from the earlier rain, but thankfully they didn't encounter any on their way to _Fondue_, another place downtown Haku suggested for dessert, as Yenshi had suggested it to him in the first place.

"So what's with the new look?" She finally asked, and he shrugged his shoulders, hands in his pockets. But still she looked to him for an answer, a cheery expression on her face, the breeze blowing her hair and the collar of her jacket.

"I just…" He drew it out, and she pulled her lips inward, understanding.

"Just wanted to fit in?" She suggested, and their eyes met. "It's hard to be somewhere new. I know; I've been there. Everyone seems to know what's going on, what you should be doing, how to dress, how to act…" She continued on as they walked. "You're grasping for straws, diving for something familiar." He nodded even as she did while she talked, and before either of them knew it they were standing at the door of _Fondue_.

"I guess I just want you to know, Haku, that I'm here for ya'. I'll never not be." Her hand that grasped his arm squeezed it lightly. Three million things screamed in Haku's head. First, that he wanted to pause the moment, second, that he was floating on a cloud at her words, and third, the nasty thought in the back of his mind that snapped: "Until another man comes into your life! And then I will have to watch from the sidelines, knowing you're 'there for me' but never 'here _with_ me'".

"So, what kind of dessert fondue are you dying for?" Her eyes widened in excitement for the delicacy that awaited her, the serious moment gone in an instant just like they always were, and he followed her in, his arm still warm from her touch.

^

Yenshi sat on the couch, a bag of chips opened next to her, and an assortment of different shaped crumbs on her thighs, stomach, the couch, and just about every area surrounding her.

She was beat.

Did she realize giving a makeover to a guy was such hard work before she decided to help Haku? Not that she wouldn't have done it if she had known, she just had a second where she questioned her sanity. She had them quite often.

She referred to them as 'momentary lapses of sanity', and they covered brain farts, pure idiot moments when she just didn't know what she was doing, or blonde moments as well fell into the category.

She had flipped through game shows, drama's, sitcoms, talk shows, cooking shows, home decorating shows…she had seen and done it all this evening, and finally had settled on 'Sushi Right – Sushi NOW!'.

She wondered what Haku and Chihiro were up to now. Wondered if they were still at dinner or had wandered to _Fondue_ yet. _Fondue_ was her favorite place. And she meant favorite.

Fondue for dinner, fondue for a snack, dessert fondue's. The place was fondue top to bottom, serving fondue and only fondue for everything except drinks. And, she wagered the best idea would be for Haku to take Chihiro and get some chocolate fondue with fruit for dessert. Man, would she kill for some right now.

She glared at her crumpled bag of chips.

Just then the phone rang, and she, with a forced sigh, made herself go into the kitchen to answer it.

She grasped the phone that was stuck to the side of the fridge and gave a neutral 'hello' into the receiver. A man's voice answered, calm and clear, and her mood brightened.

"Isada!" She exclaimed, glad to hear from her long-distance boyfriend. "Oh, I've missed you! I haven't talked to you in ages—"

"Yenshi," He interrupted, and from there the conversation turned a one-eighty.

^

"Do you like chocolate?" He asked Chihiro after the waiter had set down their fondue tray. They were sitting side-by-side in a funky bar that curved like a snake for the whole length of the room, giving customers, in a weird but surprisingly true way, privacy from others seated at the bar. (Chihiro had pointed this out in awe for quite a while when they had first arrived.)

"Do I like chocolate?" She shot back, her eyebrows showing her shock before she chuckled. "You've got to start knowing me better than that, Haku." She scolded, picking up a bamboo stake and skewering a slice of banana, which she dipped into the pot of chocolate before taking a bite, her face showing pure contentment as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Omigosh, Haku! You _have_ to try this." And she staked another piece of banana, dipping it in chocolate before she held it out for him to taste. He had just had a strawberry, but swallowed quickly before biting off the banana, watching her face glow in anticipation of his comment.

"If's wiwwy goog." She laughed at his full-mouthed reply, and turned her attention to trying something new. "Try this one." He offered, taking another kind of fruit and dipping it into the chocolate.

He offered it with a hand under the selection to keep it from dripping, and her mouth opened without hesitation and she slid the fruit off of the stick, but her hair dragged in the warm chocolate as she pulled her head back.

"Oh, wait." Haku said quickly, picking up a napkin and gesturing for her to get closer. He picked up the strand of hair and gently wiped the chocolate off the end, and only when he felt her leg collide with his did he realize how close they were.

Chihiro either didn't notice or hadn't thought anything of it, because after she thanked him quietly—her eyes truly sparkled, he noticed—she held up some pineapple with gooey chocolate layering it.

The moment it entered his mouth he was struck with instant nirvana. He gave a sound of total content, total peace. And he saw, with satisfaction, the pleased smile that Chihrio gave in return, and his hands groped for the strawberry he knew she'd die for.

He layered it, twice, in chocolate, and held it up for her to try. Her eyes dazzled his, seeming to glitter as dramatically as the stars on a summer night, and when her pink lips closed over the strawberry he saw her brows furrow and she "Mmm'ed", sending strange shocks to his hot stomach.

She drew her mouth back, sliding her lips along the skewer to slip the strawberry off, and her dark hair shimmered in the dim lights of the restaurant. The chatter of the other customers was a distant sound, the clanking of dishes was near obsolete.

If he had the daring he may have grasped her face and kissed her, hard, right then and there. But he didn't. Too many things were screaming at him not to.

When their eyes met, and both realized the closeness of their faces, their bodies, Chihiro let out a quick sigh of surprise, pulling herself more into her own chair, and it was almost like a slap to his face, though she was only…what was she only? She wasn't being rude. She wasn't acting as if it was all him. No, she realized it had been her as well—what had been?—and she was just as much to blame…as much to blame for what? His thoughts were swimming, racing, twisting and turning, and all he saw was her slender fingers combing once through her perfect, dark, thick, breathtaking hair.

They had both been caught in the moment, and they had both pulled back.

"That was amazing, Haku; thank you so much. I definitely can't forget this place. Is this 45th street?" He nodded, lifting his hand to summon a waiter for the bill.

Nothing of significance happened on their way home. Chit chat, everyday conversations, just like at dinner, just like usual. But his stomach was still warm, though not hot and filled with unfamiliar jolts, and he felt shaky, as if his body were on edge.

Everything he said, every question he answered, he felt as if he had to choose his words wisely, and he begged that it didn't sound forced or overly contemplated.

They finally reached the door to their apartment, and he felt he had his feelings in check and back to normal.

Chihiro twisted the key and let them in, but the scene that awaited them wasn't what either had expected.

Both rushed into Yenshi's bedroom where they heard crying, sobbing, and Chihiro nearly leapt onto the bed that Yenshi lied on her stomach, face down on the Sailor Moon pillowcase.

"Yenshi? Yenshi, what's wrong?" Chihiro questioned, smoothing the girls' hair. "What happened?" She seemed to sniffle for a moment, cleared her throat before she looked up to Chihiro. Haku still stood in the doorway.

"Isada called." She said. "He asked me not to call him again, or email. He said he didn't ever want to have contact with me again." Haku blinked in shock, and Chihiro cursed.

"Why, what happened?" She snapped angrily, but Yenshi cried a little more before answering.

"He wouldn't tell me…wouldn't tell me why. He…he—he didn't give me any reason. Nothing at all. He…he merely stated that and hung up." She began to cry again into her pillow, and Chihiro gave Haku a disgusted look.

"I'm going to get you some tea, all right, Yenshi?" She offered sweetly. There wasn't an answer, and Chihiro walked into the kitchen, followed by Haku. "I hate him. Ooh! I've never really liked him—in all honesty. How could…" But she didn't finish her sentence and instead began to heat water in the kettle upon the stove.

"Is there anything—" He began, but she shook her head.

"I'm going to go change into my pajama's and take her this when it's done. I'm sure there's nothing she wants to say tonight, so I'll just go to bed after I take it to her." She sighed. "Thank you, Haku. For now, and tonight, and everything. You're great." She smiled before taking his arm and planting a quick kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you in the morning." And with a quick squeeze to his arm she disappeared into her room.

Haku thought he had had complete control over his emotions and everything when they had arrived to the apartment. And he had.

But now everything was twisting, racing, hot and jolting all over again.

He sighed, his body now on edge again. He was confused, irritated, happy, sad, hopeful…

He sighed again and went to bed.


	7. Disturbance and Love

Disturbance and Love

The next few days were slow, but they progressed. Chihiro was spending almost all of her time with Yenshi—all that she could spare, that is.

Two days after their evening spent together, Chihiro and Haku had another night planned. When he was ready to go, Haku approached Chihiro in her room and found her sitting at her desk, piles of books and papers strewn around her in a crazed manner.

She had track pants on, with an oversized tank top, and her hair was pulled into a messy bun with hairs poking out in spots.

She was peering at a book, comparing it to a paper, looking back and forth, back and forth. Haku drew to her, and she looked at him questioningly, and when seeing he was dressed nicer than his at-home clothes she furrowed her brows.

"What time is it?" She questioned, and he sighed.

"Six forty-five or so." She looked at him in amazement, and a slow smile spread across his lips. "It's OK; you need to study." He assured her, and after several protests from Chihiro that he wouldn't accept, she gave in.

Haku, as he was leaving her room, couldn't help but admit he was disappointed. Though it was only his own selfishness that was spurring it on. Even still he had to admit to slouching into the couch with a sigh and picking up the TV remote with a disheartened attitude.

But, an hour later, when he had finally settled for one of the less stupid of the many stupid game shows, he obtained some company.

Chihiro, dressed no different than before except she had put on some big fluffy house slippers and thrown on a hooded sweatshirt, came in and stood by the couch without a word.

Haku looked up at her.

"I'm craving ice-cream." She said, and tossed her head towards the living room closet. "Grab your coat."

^

Twenty minutes later Chihiro and Haku were the only customers in a little ice-cream parlor run by an old, overly happy man who had given them each extra scoops with a wink.

"I've been wanting this all night." She dove into her ice-cream with flourish, but Haku didn't smile. 

"Tired?" He asked after a moment, and her happy-go-lucky attitude slid and she nodded.

"Yeah. I needed the break more than the ice-cream, I have to admit. It's just, I'm so slammed with everything right now, Haku." She sighed and leant on the table, her ice-cream drooping.

He felt bad, not knowing what to say, what words would comfort her—he'd never been to school. But his worry ended when she put a hand on his arm and said, "Thanks for just being here, Haku—you…you don't know how much it means to me to have a friend around. Yenshi's great, but…you know."

For the moment that their eyes locked Haku couldn't have moved had he wanted to. Her big eyes, looking into his, telling him how grateful she was to have him near…

She sighed.

"I wish her boyfriend hadn't done that to her. She's crushed. You know they had gone out for almost three years, right?" Haku hadn't known, and his surprise must have shown because she then said, "Hard to believe that someone could be so bad, to just dump someone they'd been with for three years without any explanation." She shook her head, shaking off the topic.

"This is the best blackberry ice-cream ever." She squealed, in a completely casual way.

^

Rain had started to splatter in Tokyo when Chihiro and Haku came back to her apartment. They scaled the outer steps to her door, but she stopped mid-step and Haku heard her hiss something under her breath.

"What's wrong?" He asked, and she was digging through her sweatshirt pocket. "Did you forget something?" He then prodded, and she nodded, frustrated.

"I forgot my wallet." She turned to go back down the stairs but he stopped her. "What?"

"I'll go get it. Go ahead in and I'll be right back."

"But—"

"It's only a couple blocks away—I'll be right back." Without another word he jogged down the steps.

"Thanks, Haku!" She called after him, and pulled her apartment key out of her sweatshirt pocket.

She slid it into the lock and turned it. Walking into her apartment, she was about to flip the switch when she heard a noise in the living room.

"Yenshi? I thought you were at work—" Footsteps approached her, and before she could turn on the light, someone—a man—had grasped her wrist and spun her around, pulling her into the living room.

His grip was intense, harsh, and she found herself squirming though she felt her intruder was strangely familiar.

"I need you back, Chihiro." Kenji! She gasped. His voice was ragged, and he smelled bad.

"Let go—" She squirmed some more, but to no use; he was too strong.

"Chihiro, just listen to me." He squeezed her wrist tighter, and she hissed at the pain. "Chihiro—"

"Kenji, that hurts!" He jerked her body closer to his, and in the faint glow of the digital readout on the entertainment center electronics she saw an utter lack of sympathy. A lack of reasoning. He was crazy—at least at the moment, and she feared Haku would be slow to return.

"Listen to me!" He snapped. "You weren't thinking straight, Chihiro. Weren't thinking straight about us breaking up." He insisted.

"Yes I was!" She returned, but she knew it was stupid the moment her mouth opened. His eyes grew wide, and he slapped her so hard is sent her reeling into the ottoman. She crashed into it with a thud that made her lose her breath, and her was falling out and around her shoulders.

"Kenji…" She gasped. "Kenji, what—"

"Chihiro…" He warned.

"Kenji, I know this isn't you! Snap out of it! Please!"

"Shut up." He didn't snap, or yell. But his tone was so cold it made her literally shudder, and she was still trying to catch her breath.

^

Haku jogged into the ice-cream parlor, and the old man handed him Chihiro's wallet without hesitation. His wrinkly, dry face was still smiling, his eyes nearly squinted shut, and Haku gave his thanks quickly before heading back into the rain.

^

If she could have thought straight she might have pondered how the ice-cream parlor was five, six blocks away, considered it was raining—might have been worried about how long it would take Haku…but she couldn't think straight. She could only see Kenji's hard, cold eyes staring her down, and she felt her stomach drop to her ankles when he came closer.

"I wouldn't whine or complain if I were you." He growled. "And I would listen—very hard—to what I had to say. So here's what I have to say, Chihiro." He grabbed her arms and lifted her up to face the same direction he was. She could feel his body next to hers, and felt herself shudder again, feel his breath on her neck, near her ears.

"Are you scared?" He asked suddenly, seemingly tender, but there was no sincerity to his voice. He twisted her around to face him, and though she couldn't bear to, she looked into his eyes unblinkingly.

"Why are you scared of me? I love you, Chihiro." He may have sounded hurt, but she knew he wasn't…perhaps he was, but she really didn't care. He was walking, step by step now, pushing her backwards, and when she felt the wall hit her back she jumped.

^

Haku jogged in the rain. He was glad Chihiro didn't have to do it, not that he would have let her. He had put her leather wallet under his shirt to protect it from the rain; the pelting water was making him soaked.

He shook his hair—it was as wet as if he had been swimming—he was halfway there now, and chilled to the bone, he noted without much thought beyond that he was shivering slightly.

^

Chihiro was stiff as a board. When his lips grazed across her cheek she fought against the chill down her spine to no avail. She felt him pause—her eyes were closed—before trailing to her lips.

She kept them tightly shut.

He kissed her anyway, and she felt like his lips were dirty. She didn't want them on hers.

"What? Don't want to kiss back? Even for the heck of it?" He shot sarcastically, and she used his lapse of concentration to throw herself as far away as she could in one motion. She crashed into the entertainment center, and with the consoles banging and sliding, falling, she felt several limbs begin to bruise and ache after being struck.

She hissed through her teeth—her body was aching instantly—and he snatched her and tossed her onto the couch which balanced on its hind legs for a moment before stabilizing her sudden and harsh weight.

^

Haku couldn't tell you all the things that rushed through his head upon seeing a man grab Chihiro and toss her into the couch.

Hate.

That was the emotion that was coursing through his veins, heating his blood.

There were so many things he wanted to do at that moment, but he heard his own voice before he could think any of them through.

"Get out." He heard himself growl, like a dark and haunting animal. "Get out!" He then growled, louder. Kenji—he didn't know when he realized it was Kenji; it hadn't really mattered to him—snapped his head up and darted his eyes to Haku who stood in the doorway.

"Don't ever come back here!" Haku shouted, slowly getting closer to Chihiro, but never taking his eyes off Kenji.

His surroundings seemed to connect to Kenji. He had an expression of someone waking up from a deep sleep while he looked around. Slowly he obeyed Haku's command, and without a word, dashed out of the apartment.

^

Haku sighed, looking around at the damage before slipping down to the couch next to Chihiro.

"What happened? He hurt you—what's wrong?" But Chihiro only threw herself into his arms, her shoulders shaking, and Haku without hesitation, obliged her.

He shifted into a better position, letting her lie in his arms, and he watched her form in the glowing light from the street signs, his body still soaking wet, his hair dripping.

"All I've done is cry since you got here," She began. "You must think I'm such a wimp." He shook his head sincerely, slowly, making sure she was looking at him.

Hours seemed to pass by, her still in his arms, and once he thought she was asleep he made a move to get up though he didn't want to leave her.

But, in a completely calm, un-sleepy voice she said, "Please stay with me." And so, without hesitation, he did.

^

When Haku woke up he was alone. There was noise coming from the kitchen, and he saw the different consoles had been put back together and neatly tidied into the entertainment center.

He moved his body—groaned at the aches and pains from sleeping on the couch, with someone else too boot—and made his way into the kitchen. Chihiro was doing the dishes, her back to him. Her hair was wet from a shower, and she had clean clothes on, though they were on the grungy side.

"How are you?" She stopped what she was doing, paused, before turning around to face him.

"I'm fine." It may have a seemed like a 'I don't want to talk about it' answer, however there was a lack of her trying to hide something, and a normal level of being open. Haku took it, from her tone and pose as, "I'm fine, but not great. I'm fine, but not wallowing in fear and despair. I'm fine, I'm over it but not quite. "

"He won't come back." She said suddenly. "I know him well enough…he was just—" She paused quickly. "Just different. Crazy. Perhaps drunk." She mused mused sarcastically. "I don't know how to explain it, Haku, but I promise he won't be back."

Several minutes later, Chihiro set down some breakfast for the both of them. Haku wanted to poke the microwaved danish but decided against it, thinking she might be offended. It did look a little cold still.

She prodded her blueberry danish absentmindedly with her fork, not eating a bite, and finally she sighed and took in a purposeful breath.

"He said he loved me." He looked at her. Not able to find any words he remained silent. He also knew she just needed to speak. "He doesn't." She muttered bitterly. "How could you do that and say it was because you loved someone?" She rolled her eyes—Haku forgot about his danish.

"I mean, love is about understanding, friendship, that little jolt to your stomach when you see them in a crowded room…isn't it?" She pushed her plate of broken up danish away. "What do you think love is, Haku?" He didn't know what to say.

His heart was doing that uncomfortable _thump-thump_, _ba-dump_, _thump-thump_, _ba-dump_. She was still waiting for an answer. And so he shoved any discomfort away, reminding himself that this was the same Chihiro who had gasped for breath when they crossed the bridge eight years ago. The same Chihiro who had bawled while eating rice balls.

"Love is," He began. "longing to see that person for hours on end. Love is thinking they're the best-looking person in the room, even if they're dressed bad or dirty. Love is sliding your fingers through their hair and that feeling leaving you breathless. Love is feeling complete when you hold them, and your arms aching when you aren't. Love is the feeling that you would cross any barrier to get to them.

"Love is…something that doesn't die, no matter how long you've waited to feel their touch."

She was silent, his passionate words sinking in, and she sighed.

"You act as if you know for sure." He shrugged.

"Perhaps I do, perhaps I only imagine. Perhaps my ideas are only fantastical dreams…but one thing I know, is that love is something special. Whether it be an adventurous kind like a story, or a friendship that will never die.

"It's flying, Chihiro. Soaring high in the sky on warm, feathered wings."


	8. Hurt and Pain

Hurt and Pain

Both Chihiro and Haku kept the events of Kenji's visit to themselves. Yenshi was oblivious, having been so tired that in the dark she didn't even notice them on the couch.

Yenshi had dived into work with an aggression that could only be explained by her recent hurt. She would leave in the morning and return late, as sometimes she'd work a nine-to-five and go out to dinner before returning to work for an evening shift.

Chihiro was dedicated to work, never missing, but her job at a nearly fast food place was more sporadic, and definitely part-time. Yenshi's main job, a nine-to-five on Monday's, Wednesday's, and Friday's, she had been at for nearly a year.

It was a prestigious job working for a women's magazine, heading up the business section as main editor and occasional journalist. She had recently taken on a second job for Tuesday's and Thursday's at a jewelry store near her magazine's building.

Most nights she could be found working the evening shift at the jewelry store, or back at the magazine's building touching up articles and layouts meticulously.

It was on one of these evening's that Haku came to the _Rouge!_ magazine building with some extra dinner and—most especially—extra dessert, but his main purpose was to just check up on her.

There was the occasional worker here and there, the seldom but crazed overachiever who was 'tweaking' their article before submitting it to the editor over them, and on a floor by herself he found Yenshi.

She was sitting at a desk laden with so many computer screens he worried about her eyesight, squinting in the dark as she inspected the largest screen that was in the middle of the mass.

"Hi." He greeted cheerily, and she looked up at him in surprise, and then her eyes darted to the tupperware boxes in his hands with chopsticks and a fork on top. She smiled.

"You're awesome, Haku, but you didn't have—"

"I know, I know. But I wanted to." He interrupted, setting them down next to a mess of papers on her desk.

"Thank you." She smiled at him, and then gestured for him to snag the nearby rolling chair. "That really was sweet of you." She went to the first box of food, and her chopsticks tapped while she ate.

"What are you working on now?" He looked interestedly at the programs running on her computer, and she set the food down, chewing her food and swallowing quickly before she answered.

"This is the main layout for the magazine page," She began, her fingers trailing along the screen. "And these are the different articles. I've got to arrange them all nicely and stuff for tomorrow's printing." She grinned in a cheesy way. "Wanna' subscribe?" She shot at him, and he glanced at all the different magazine logos about her small office.

"Rouge?" He asked her questioningly, and she rolled her eyes with a slight chuckle.

"_Roooosh_." She pronounced for him, drawing it out dramatically, and it was his turn to laugh. "It's French for the color _red_." She then explained, to which he nodded, but without sincerely paying much attention.

"I'm sure you'd be crazy about the fashion, make-up, and women's health sections." She winked at him. "Well, thank you very much, Haku. I probably should be getting back to work…"

"I understand." He got up with a wide smile, and bid her goodbye and wished her good luck on finishing the entry.

She watched him walk down the long, slender hallway before turning the corner.

^

"How's Yenshi?" Chihiro asked Haku once he got back. "Did she like the food and everything?"

"Yeah, she did. She's fine…well, all right, I suppose. Looks like she has a lot to do." He dragged his palm against the back of his neck as he walked into the kitchen.

"I think she bit off too much." Chihiro commented quietly.

"You think?"

"Yeah, definitely. Look at it. I mean, she was hurt and going through a lot with the breakup, so naturally she wanted to escape. Her means of escape was to work a lot. You know, harder you work the less you think of anything else.

"Well, I think she took in a lot so she wouldn't have to think about it—to block it out, you see. And now that all the time, the work, the responsibility has caught up with her, she's getting physically and emotionally exhausted." He nodded, with nothing more to add to that. She was dead right, he had to admit.

"Anywho…I want to tell her but I'm caught. On one hand I feel close enough to her, and on the other I feel it's not my place." She sighed. "Did you get enough dessert? There's a ton left in the fridge."

He decided on some and pulled both the cobbler and the ice-cream out. He dumped some ice-cream right on top of the whole bowl of leftovers, and dove in without a second thought.

The whole scene made Chihiro smile. How infinitely different he was from normal guys and how ultimately the same. She was glad—she didn't like him feeling out of place. She knew what it was like. How bad a feeling it was that you couldn't get rid of till you did.

"You've got another bruise." He pointed out, mad, with a mouthful of blackberry cobbler and vanilla ice-cream. Indeed, Chihiro was wearing a white a-shirt top and pajama pants, and the sleeveless style showed off a purple-blue bruise on the outside of her upper arm.

She glanced down at it distractedly, twitching her mouth in a so-so way before going back to the dishes.

Chihiro had had many bruises pop up here and there since that night. She had usually tried to hide them both to avoid questions from Yenshi and Haku's anger towards Kenji that presented itself without restraint.

"I heard he left town." She added quietly, and Haku perked up his hearing. "Some people at school were talking about how he suddenly transferred further north, and that at the end of the semester he was going to America. New York, where he got an internship offer." Haku's brows rose in interest and curiosity.

"I'm glad." She nearly whispered. Haku got out of his chair, and in an instant he had put a comforting hand on her shoulder, which she greatly appreciated.

^

Haku's visit to Yenshi that night had become a routine as she worked every night, rain or shine, tragedy or typhoon.

Each night he would bring her dinner, whether Chihiro had cooked it, or—more often than not lately—he did himself as Chihiro was found busy once more with school and working double due to a coworker quitting without notice.

One particular night, a week later then his first visit, Yenshi gave him a grin of satisfaction after biting into the meal.

"It's delicious, Haku. You make it this time?" She teased. "In all seriousness, you've become a better cook each time—I'd be totally satisfied for Chihiro and I to give up the kitchen for good."

He shrugged it off, embarrassed, with a laugh.

"No more of your dumplings?" He then asked her, and she waved a hand dismissively.

"All right, all right. Dumplings occasionally. But only occasionally!" To which they both laughed.

A silence ensued for several moments before Yenshi then mentioned quietly, "You know, I haven't gotten so close to someone for a while, it seems." She smiled weakly, and Haku knew how deeply she felt that was true.

^

The next night Haku, as he had grown used to, was sitting on the train; a Tupperware container of steaming rice and teriyaki vegetables in his hand with chopsticks perched on top.

He twiddled his fingers, tapping them on the container, messing with the chopsticks, his windblown hair dangling in his eyes, dusting over his ears. His mouth was smirking thoughtfully, his shoulders slouched just a bit as the last neon signs of the club district zoomed by, hours before their occupants would enter, eager for a carefree and wild evening of dancing and strobe lights.

When the train came to his stop he shouldered his way through the crowd of Tokyo natives so used to the hustle and bustle nothing could faze them. He left the station in a slight jog, and crossed the street at the first light, seeing _Rouge's_ building just ahead.

The automatic doors slid to give him entrance, and he recalled with a smile his first encounter with such doors.

Yenshi smiled her hello as he entered her makeshift office that was little more than a cubby in the center of a long hallway.

She drew her feet up under her in her seat, her hair twisted up with a writing pen, her computer re-dialing its internet connection in the background.

"What've we got tonight?" She asked excitedly, and her handed her the blue container and the chopsticks.

"Teriyaki vegetables and rice." She looked up at him, and her eyes followed as he sat down across from her.

"No meat?" She asked, eyebrows lifted.

"No meat." He returned. "Healthier for eating so late." Indeed it was nearly nine-thirty. Chihiro still hadn't come home when he left, having to work a shift two hours longer than her usual.

She rolled her eyes at his healthy comment, saying, "Working my hours the last thing you care about is healthy." She chuckled. "No, it's what fast food tastes the best and is easiest to hold on the go."

This Haku snorted at, to which she cast him a sly smile.

She asked about Chihiro's work, and talked about all the work of her own was going to take her. Haku, always pleasant company, talked eagerly, anxious for some company, and not ready to go home to an empty apartment alone.

It was this he voiced, casually, but he also added that, "I'm used to being alone. I mean, at the bathhouse that's what it was. No matter how many people surrounded you, you were on your own." To this she listened sympathetically, nodding in empathy.

The minutes rolled by, and the food was long gone when footsteps approached them as they both laughed—giggling as quietly as they could.

A girl in her mid to late twenties told them she was leaving and that everyone else had already left as well. With a cheery smile she left, telling Yenshi that she would see her in the morning.

Yenshi glanced at the clock and sighed, shaking her head. "Do you realize what time it is?" He raised a brow. "Twelve thirty-seven." His eyes widened in surprise. "Hey, Haku, thanks for coming by." She leaned forward on her elbows intimately.

"Thanks for…thanks for coming by every night, bringing me dinner and everything. I just…I…" In only the light of the computer screen she leant forward and met his lips with her own.

Her long bangs slid from behind her ears to brush his cheek, and her slender fingers strayed lightly to his neck.

Haku had never been kissed before. It sent a strange feeling of vulnerability and thrill through him. A strange feeling that was not unlike discomfort but blissful. Indeed he had never felt the same, every nerve in his body heightened to touch, his chest hot and his stomach cold.

Both of her hands were splayed about his neck now, trailing through the lowest layers of his hair as she deepened the kiss.

And while he was trying to recognize everything, experience everything of this new and amazing act, he hit a brick wall. This is wrong. And his mind was reeling backwards.

He broke the kiss staggeringly, his chest heaving with ragged breaths. Yenshi folded upon herself, hugging herself and leaning forward on her knees, her head bowed.

"I'm so sorry, Haku!" Her voice was about as rough as his felt. "I'm so sorry. It's not your fault; you don't understand what just…" She said quickly. "I don't know what—what came over me." She ran a shaky hand through her hair, still not daring to look up at him.

He recalled an evening one night just barely after he had arrived:

_"She's rebounding." Chihiro said to Yenshi across the kitchen island where her roommate was doing dishes. "I mean, it's natural, but she takes it to an extreme. It's none of my business, but it's affecting work, and then it becomes part of my life too, ya know?"_

_Haku turned to Chihiro with, "Rebounding?"_

_She had smiled._

_"Rebounding is when you've been dating someone and break up, and then go after everyone in sight." Yenshi said, to which Chihiro snorted._

_"Not quite. It's like, because you've broken up and are hurt, and sometimes feel the need to have someone else in your life, you strive to fill the empty place with someone else." And, she added sarcastically, "Anyone else. Anyone else in sight." The girls had laughed at that remark before the subject was changed._

And so now he was experiencing this in real life, he knew. It was apparent at the suddenness in everything, her current emotional state, and the tears that were now spilling lightly down her cheeks.

He put a comforting hand on her shoulder and assured her it was all right, not to trouble herself about it.

"It's natural, right now. Especially at the injustice you were given. Hurt and pain are hand and hand together for you—but only for a little while. Time will heal your wounds." And he gave her a smile. One that ignored what had just occurred, one that offered friendship.

She, her eyes no longer streaming with tears, returned a little smile.


	9. Have You Ever's and Expectations

Have You Ever's and Expectations

Haku was sitting on one of the island chairs, his legs on either side of a large trash bin, hands working deftly as he skinned potatoes for the evening's meal. He had discovered an Indian dish in a multi-cultural cookbook purchased at a used bookstore in the old market district last week.

He was very excited to try it out this weekend, and hoped very much that Chihiro and Yenshi would enjoy it. The both of them had run to the store quickly for other ingredients, and within several moments he heard the lock turn and they entered, the swish and crinkle of bags in their hands.

"We're back!" He heard Chihiro call happily, swinging the door shut behind her and following Yenshi into the kitchen. Yenshi began putting away several items, making sure to leave out the ones Haku had given them on a list for their errand.

Several spices that had taken them several minutes and a few questions to uncover, and multiple types of vegetables in a variety of colors now set around Haku's bowl of potatoes on the island.

"Celery," Chihiro began, pointing in turn to different items. "Mustard seed, ginger, onions, cilantro, tumeric, radish—" Haku lifted and furrowed his brows in turn, interrupting her. "What?"

"Radish?" He then questioned. "But that's Daikon radish. I needed red radish like I showed Yenshi…." Both turned to Yenshi, who's hands were holding several items, but dead still, stopped in the middle of putting them away. Her eyes were wide as saucers, and she now attempted an innocent expression.

Chihiro giggled while Yenshi offered her apologies to Haku, but he shrugged them off and said it was all right.

Everyone was given a task for the meal after the groceries had been put away. Haku did most of the making, while Chihiro and Yenshi cut vegetables that he would add and spice accordingly.

Half an hour later the smell of Indian spices were rich and robust in the kitchen, and the cats had gathered to investigate the commotion.

"So what exactly is this meal called?" Chihiro asked Haku as she passed him the container of tumeric powder.

"Hara. Right, Haku?" Yenshi piped in, but Chihiro was teasing Yenshi before Haku could even register the question.

"Hara is the center of your chi." Chihiro pointed out flatly, and Yenshi laughed, a little embarrassedly. "You need to remember to separate life and yoga class, Yenshi." She then added with a little laugh. "You're either trying to remember too hard or your new yoga class is always in your brain."

To this the three laughed together before Chihiro posed her question again, and Haku answered, "I believe it's Masal" before ushering them out of the kitchen so he could add the finishing touches.

Later that night all sat around the living room with the TV low in the background. Chihiro and Haku both sprawled on each end of the couch, and Yenshi sitting on the floor in her pajamas, painting Chihiro's toenails and planning to add little flowers to each big toe. The events between Yenshi and Haku had now been long forgotten, and an even deeper comfort between them had grown in its place.

"I have to admit I've never been tempted to go on a blind date again." All of them were laughing hysterically at Yenshi's tale of a blind date gone awry, and several times Yenshi or Chihiro would be laughing so hard that the pedicure would have to wait, lest it look a mess.

"What is 'have you ever'?" Haku questioned them both, recalling a game that had been referenced in the story. Both Chihiro and Yenshi exchanged looks.

"Well," Chihiro then began. "It's a big middle school and high school game. Like, it goes—here I'll give you an example using you and Yenshi. OK, have you ever gotten drunk?" She then waved an arm informatively. "Now Yenshi answers yes or no, and then you answer yes or no. And we move clockwise, so now it's Yenshi's turn to ask the both of us." She raised her brows. "Does that make sense?" He nodded, and Yenshi insisted they must play.

"Haku's never played it! It wouldn't be fair to deprive him—it's such a big thing in life!" Chihiro rolled her eyes at the last comment with a chuckle, but relented to play amongst them.

"OK, Yenshi. You go first."

"Have you ever been so embarrassed it made you cry?" She said, using an old middle school classic, to which both Haku and Chihiro answered no. Haku bit his lip a moment, thinking hard on his question.

"Have you ever regretted a decision enough to change it?" Both Yenshi and Chihiro paused to think on this; a question much deeper than Yenshi's silly one prior.

"Tons of times!" Yenshi exclaimed. But Chihiro's answer was more solemn, and she answered quietly, "No." Yenshi looked at her in disbelief, but Haku gave her a pleased look. Like he knew she would have the wisdom to answer his question.

This game may lean toward immature fun and games, but Haku wasn't apt to waste his breath when there were millions of questions he wanted to ask Chihiro when he knew she would answer him with blunt honesty.

"Because decisions, good or bad, shape who you are. I may be living somewhere different, I may be doing something else with my life. Every little decision shapes you, whether only by your character, or by altering the way your life will flow until its end."

Her answer felt to Haku like a warm caress, and her answer had also made Yenshi consider, and perhaps change her mind. But it was now Chihiro's turn, and she chose something lighter in tone, which they both answered with smiles and laughter that was due.

Then Yenshi asked, "Have you ever wanted something so badly you thought you might burst?" Haku, his eyes dark, deep, said 'Yes' without any other words to follow it, and Chihiro did the same, though not with the same solemnity.

"Have you ever wanted to see the future?" Haku then asked of them, and Yenshi asked if fortune-teller's counted with a giggle. But Chihiro met his eye, knowing now that his answers were deep, contemplative, and said, "Yes, but I would never choose to."

It was her turn, and for several moments she thought long and hard on what she might ask, not wishing to follow his deep thoughts and questions with something silly, and finally she asked: "Have you ever wanted to redo something in the past?"

Yenshi stopped mid-stroke with the fingernail polish, and then finished it with furrowed brows, her hand now fanning Chihiro's toe.

"I think we'd all want to, but wouldn't…at least if we were smart." Haku agreed with a nod, and now it was Yenshi's turn, who, now taking into mind that their conversations and questions had turned serious, considered for a minute.

"Have you ever loved or cared for someone so much, you'd do anything just to be near them?" Yenshi knew the weight this question held to the two she posed the question to, and watched them with hawk's eyes.

Haku glaned at Chihiro, but without moving anything save his eyes, and Chihiro's own eyes seemed to look within her. They were unfocused, staring in the air, and Haku's eyes were intent upon her, darker then usual, focused more than seemed possible.

Chihiro's cell phone rang, causing her to start, and Haku flicked his eyes away. That moment of immense silence, of tangible stillness, hadn't been more than four or five seconds, but it had seemed an eternity.

She went into the kitchen to answer the phone which was set to beep louder and louder the more it rang, and she picked it up and took it to her ear.

"Hello?" They heard her say, followed by, "She didn't come in? OK…OK…Yeah, all right. No. No, really; that's fine." Haku wondered if his sigh was as loud as he heard it, and when Chihiro came back she grasped her jacket and keys.

"Tomoe didn't come in tonight, so they asked if I could cover just until they don't need me." She slipped her arms in her jacket sleeves and drew her hand behind her neck and under her hair so that she flipped her onyx tendrils out of her coat.

"That's not fun." Yenshi gave a distasteful look of sympathy, and Chihiro nodded with wide eyes.

"I'll see you guys later." She turned to Haku. "Thanks so much for dinner; it was great. I shouldn't be late, but don't wait up." He nodded, and she gave them a quick, closed-lip grin before dashing out the door.

Yenshi turned to Haku who was now standing up, and said, "I don't know what they'd do without her there, you know?" He didn't answer. "I'm sorry, Haku." She then said, for what is was worth, quietly.

"For what?" He turned around, and though he attempted neutrality she saw the disappointment in his eyes. She shook her head slowly at his remark, but followed him into the kitchen.

While he set the dishes in the sink of the dessert they had enjoyed in the living room Yenshi said to him, "This wasn't what you expected." His body was still, but he didn't turn to her.

"I don't know what I expected." He said with the slightest of shrugs. He hadn't even turned the kitchen light on.

"You didn't expect _this_." She mentioned pointedly, setting her body onto the seat of an island stool.

"How do you know what I expected?" He snapped suddenly, and she snorted, suddenly in the mood for an argument.

"I know you didn't expect the hand you were dealt," She began. "Know you didn't expect being a best friend that came into her life when she needed it. Know you didn't expect living in a city you feel out of place in. Know you didn't expect being an aspiring master chef.

"But that's what you were dealt, and I know—if even only in a smallest degree—that it hurts. That it makes you wonder, and question everything."

Haku's hands were grasping the sink, and he was leaning his weight against it, his head dropped so that she only saw his arched shoulders.

"I tried going back." He said after several moments, and Yenshi's bad attitude slid and melted. "I tried, but I couldn't. Not that I couldn't literally go back, but I couldn't make myself. I couldn't leave her—can't leave her.

"It's been eight long years of waiting to see her again. Eight long years of every minute—every second, thinking everything would be all right, that I'd be seeing her soon. It took eight long years to get Yubaba to let me leave, and I'll never forget the tears that streamed down my cheeks as I left. But they weren't tears of sadness, but of excitement, of happiness that she was just as long away as it took me to get to her.

"She's all I've ever had." And it was now that Yenshi realized he was crying. "When she came I knew I had to protect her, had to help her. She gave me my name. And she gave me the heart I had never had.

"I watched her leave. Watched her sneakers pad through the grass, her ponytail caught in the wind, her hands up as she ran. She never looked back, but I didn't take my eyes from her until they couldn't no longer see her."

It was several moments before that ensuing silence fled at more of his words, and Yenshi listened as her eyes brimmed with sympathetic tears.

"I had expectations, but wouldn't you have?" He then voiced, perhaps more to himself than for her to hear. "Every morning I awoke, hoping that by some miraculous chance I might see her face. And every night I lied in bed, the moonlight spread across me as I imagined her in my arms."

And the memory of both flew across his mind like whispers of times long ago but never a detail missing in its memory. Of his eyes wide and bright, taking in the morning sun, his hands eager for some work.  Of his midnight hair spread across the pillow, the moonlight sparkling across his bed, starlight dazzling the shape of his face, his eyes dark and solemn as he drifted into sleep.

"I could never have imagined the world that was her home. Never have imagined the size, the speed with which everything occurred, the sheer number of people…the opportunities at her fingertips or the decisions she had made.

"And so my expectations were not much until I stepped into the sprawling city of Tokyo and realized—though I pushed it away—how far away the chance of my expectations becoming reality was.

"And still I pushed it back, and little by little my hopes were dashed, until now, recently, I have truly understood that which will never be." She saw, more than heard him take a deep breath, his silhouette foreboding and sad in the light coming through the window from the street signs.

"But I still can't leave her," He said after a time, his voice quieter, seemingly less passionately but not truly. "and so I stay, anxious for a look, a smile, the touch of her hand. It is everything to me just to be within her presence.

"I waited so long for it." He added reminiscently. "And so I am more happy being near her, though so very far from her, then to leave entirely." A rush of passionate empathy coursed through Yenshi's veins, and yet she could not find words to offer comfort, no words to offer at all.

And with a sigh he said he would finish the dishes in the morning, and left Yenshi still in the kitchen, and one of the cats—a ginger one—began to paw at her feet for some leftover dinner scraps.


	10. Masquerades and Tentative Agenda's

Masquerades and The Lack of a Tentative Agenda

Early spring drifted into late, and the cherry blossoms hung and blew in the air like whisperings of cheerful confetti. The heavy coats were put into attic closets, and lighter jackets were being slung upon the wearer's arm, or held over their shoulder, to flag across their back.

Haku walked alone through a city garden plentiful with the aforementioned sights. His midnight hair had grown just a touch, his face was as clean shaven as he had always kept it, and his wise eyes glanced here and there without really seeing anything.

He carried bags in each hand, where breads and vegetables peeped over the top to greet the lovely early afternoon, and his mouth held a pleasant, if unnoticed smirk.

The hematite earring still glinted at his ear, the color near to match the one of his eyes, and his sharp, dark brows were quick to furrow or lift at the sights around him.

It had been nearly two months since his discussion with Yenshi. Neither had mentioned it since then, and nothing had changed. Chihiro's smile still held power over him, but she noticed it not and her actions assured him she did not desire those smiles whose feelings beneath held affection for her.

He had grown comfortable with his life, his daily routines pleasant to him, and though his heart still ached for her, his life continued without drowning angst that he might not function at what he wished to.

Yenshi and Chihiro had discussed a summer trip to Hong Kong, and to see some of the sights of China, and only when they blatantly pointed out they had meant to include him, did he truly consider whether he wanted to go or not. He was still considering.

Chihiro one evening had discussed with him how he had changed. He looked to her in confusion, and she shared with him her thoughts.

"You used to be so proud, so earnest, so strong." She had smiled. "Not that you are no longer any of these, but you have changed. You are more thoughtful, more mellow. You have less of a temper." She smirked at him. "But you have not changed so much that I wouldn't recognize you. No matter what, you are still Haku, no matter how your temperament has changed."

Had she mentioned his under confidence near her? How much he had learned to guard his words and actions? There were many things driving him to react differently to things than he would have a decade ago, but he only smiled, laughing it off.

He had become the cook of the apartment. His food was favored among all of them, and since he enjoyed it so much, the kitchen had been declared his own. Also a chair by the window, where he might look into the busy streets below and read the books on culture he had begun to swim in. He never wished to not understand something beyond the apartment walls, in the world, among the people, and so he began to know more than one who had even grown up in this world, like Chihiro, or Yenshi.

Haku's feet jogged up the garden steps that led to the busy intersection, and he turned the corner.

"Haku!" He stopped, glancing around for the caller of his name, but saw no one. "Hakuuuu!" He glanced again, this time across the street. A young woman bounced on her toes, her hand raised high. Her pink and white flowered skirt was rippling in the afternoon breeze, and her long dark hair slapped her shoulders as she continued to bounce.

When the light turned, she shouldered through the crowd as she crossed the street to him, and Chihiro greeted Haku with pink cheeks and bright eyes.

"What were the chances?" She grinned, and he returned it with excitement. "I'm guessing you're going home?" She then questioned as she fell into step beside him, and he nodded. "Oh, good! So what's for dinner?" She glanced to the bags, caught his smile as he attempted to move them out of her sight.

"It's a surprise. You need to get better at that. You don't even like not being told just beforehand!" She chuckled.

"I don't like surprises," She admitted after a moment. "It's irritating. I'd rather someone tell me something wrong and then be surprised than to actually be surprised traditionally." She made a proud face, hiding her strange and somewhat confusing explanation with lifted-chin dignity.

"OK, fine then," He relented. "We're having Ramen." She scrunched her nose, showing her distaste. "I'm only attempting to put your scenario that you prefer to use!" He defended, and she rolled her eyes.

"For some reason I'm not amused." He laughed to himself as they continued on.

"We're home!" Chihiro's cheery voice echoed down the hallway and into the kitchen where Yenshi sat at the island, flipping through a magazine. She glanced up at them both as they entered, and Haku set the grocery bags down next to her magazine.

"Did you hear about the masquerade?" Yenshi asked her, and Chihiro furrowed her brows and Haku turned and looked at Yenshi.

"What masquerade?" Chihiro asked, and she looked to Haku, then back to Yenshi who grabbed a flyer that was sitting nearby and showed it to them.

"The university is having one for end-of-term," Yenshi began to explain. "Like a grand costume ball." Chihiro held an expression of peaked interest, and even Haku had paused in the process of putting away the groceries.

"That should be amazing." Chihiro, just like a girl, had stars in her eyes at the thought. "Oh, what should I go as?" She then began happily. "Perhaps something grand like a princess or something? Or maybe something clever, like a play on words, or something?"

"You better take a shower." Yenshi commented, toneless. "So you'll be all washed up for your presentation tonight." Haku chuckled, and in turn was whapped in the stomach with a stalk of celery.

"Fine, sure." She said, relenting to the suggestion. "I'll see ya'll in a minute." And she flopped the celery stalk she had just used next to Haku before making her way to her room.

"Dinner will be done soon—just about when you get out!" He called after her.

"You're going to go with her, aren't you?" Yenshi commented, and he turned around to meet her gaze. "To the dance, right?"

"What do you mean?" His dark brows were slightly furrowed.

"Her date! Are you going to go as her escort, as her date to the dance? The masquerade?" He shrugged.

"Oh, that." And he made no move to comment further.

"What do you mean, 'oh, that'?" She blew out a sigh, frustrated with him.

"How can I?" He returned. "She's not going to ask me, Yenshi, and I very well can't ask her to her own dance." He shrugged once more. "It's no big deal. I'm just not going." Yenshi let out another frustrated sigh, but there was nothing for her to comment, and she left without another word.

Life continued much as it had for the past couple of weeks. No real mention of the masquerade was brought up, and when Yenshi mentioned it to either Haku or Chihiro, both changed the subject.

Haku, because he would rather push away what was bothering him at present, and Chihiro because, Yenshi thought, she had a secret she wished not to divulge.

One night, when all of them were sitting around the living room, Yenshi began to voice suggestions for costumes, and Haku offered what advice he could.

"What about a geisha?" Yenshi asked, and Chihiro shook her head.

"Everyone will go as geisha's." She said simply, flipping through a magazine.

"What about--" But Chihiro shook her head, saying she just needed time to think.

The next night, Chihiro came home to find a note from Yenshi attached to the fridge. It said she was working late, that she had a key, and asked her to feed the cat. She smiled to herself as she dumped several scoops of cat food into their dish, and they trotted in expectantly and began eating without even a glance her way.

"Haku?" She called down the hallway, then made her way down there, listening for any sounds. His muffled reply came from the bathroom, and she heard the shower running.

She entered her bedroom, kicked off her shoes in the closet, and slipped off her jacket. She changed into a pair of track pants and a sweatshirt before going back into the kitchen.

She was standing in front of the fridge, staring into the open freezer when Haku walked in with pajama pants and a t-shirt, his wet towel slung over his shoulders and his hair dripping from his shower.

"There's nothing to eat." She said simply, in a bored tone.

He nodded, agreeing, and looked around for a moment before he said, "Want to go out?" She seemed to consider, then looked at her attire that she didn't want to change. "We could go somewhere fast, if you like." This she seemed to consider as well.

"Hang your towel in the bathroom and let's go." She said.

They entered the nearest McDonald's and ordered some delightfully greasy food and sat down in a pleather-upholstered booth.

Haku's hair was still wet as he bent over his tray of fast food, and she caught herself staring at the separated and waving strands before she forced her glance away.

"Is your food good?" He asked her, and she returned with, "Is it bad for me? Because if it is, you can bet I'm enjoying it. That is, except in the case of your cooking, which is too good for words," He grinned embarrassedly while she smiled, "and yet, for the most part, very good for me.

"You haven't been cooking very much lately." She noted.

"I've been sort of busy." She lifted a brow. "All right, perhaps more just lazy, I'll admit."

"You're allowed to be lazy." She flashed him a quick smile. "Busy though…well, if you're busy, you need to make time. Am I right?" She gestured with her silverware. "Hey, are you almost done?" She asked several moments later, organizing her trash on her tray. He nodded without a word.

"_You've_ been pretty busy lately." He said conversationally, dumping the contents of his tray before taking hers and doing the same. She shrugged.

"I suppose I have," She held open the door, waiting for him to follow her out. Once on the sidewalk, she shoved her hands into her pockets against the breeze. This spring had been unusually chill.

"To be honest, I don't feel that _busy_, just like I always have something I need to be doing. Like something sitting on my shoulder constantly. It's just…tiring. You know?" She turned around, walking backwards so she could see him.

"What has been on your shoulder lately?" His tone was sincere, almost sweet, and she sighed, turning around to walk abreast with him.

"This semester's almost done. What am I going to do next semester? What will I do for the summer? It sounds pathetic, but that's been a bother. All the studying I need to be doing for next month, but it's next month and so I procrastinate, lying to myself by royally forfeiting thought towards homework." She sighed again.

"I'm listening," He said quietly, after a moment of silence.

"Haku…" He looked to her when she didn't finish, urging her to continue with a glance. "I don't feel I know where my life is going."

"Like," She continued, "I don't even have a major! I have no clue where I want to go, want to be, any goals in my life, and definite plans. Heck, I don't even have a tentative agenda!" She kicked at a stray can in her path aggressively.

Haku stopped walking. Standing there like a wise, exotic cat, he lifted his face in to the breeze. It kicked up the strands of his damp dark hair, nearly the same color as the hematite stone that shone in his ear, and he closed his eyes, and took in a quiet breath.

She stopped. She turned around, her brows furrowed at him, her hands stuffed in her pockets, her body tense.

"What does the wind tell you?" She took a tentative step towards him. He still had his eyes closed, his posture taking in his surroundings. "Where does it tell you to go?" She took another step towards him.

"You will find your path before your journey is through." He reached forward, grasping the tips of her fingers for just a moment. "I promise you." His eyes nearly glittered, but he gave her a smile and continued their walk home before anything else was said.

She trotted after him, and they jogged up the steps to their apartment together, laughing and joking, teasing and taunting each other about who would win their childish race to the door.

Yenshi still wasn't home. Chihiro tossed her keys on the entryway's dresser, and she and Haku made their way to their rooms.

"Haku?" She had left him when they had reached her room, but now she spun around and grasped the frame, leaning into the hall. Haku, already to his own door, turned to her, his hand barely grasping his door handle.

"Um, Haku? I was just wondering, um…" He arched a brow to her. "That is, I would really enjoy--really like you to, um…" He lifted his chin a touch to show he was listening. "Well, would you like to go to the masquerade with me?"

He grinned warmly, nodding.

"Of course." was all he said.


	11. Mysteries and Administrations

__

Mysteries and Administrations

"So what are you going as?" Yenshi sipped on her milkshake straw, her eyes intent across the table, unblinkingly taking in Haku's face.

"Um, I don't know." He said offhandedly, dunking a french fry before popping it into his mouth. He shrugged, and Yenshi turned silent, thoughtful, for several moments.

"How about a prince?" He furrowed his brows. "You know, something elegant, refined, dignified. That goes so well with your personality, Haku. I mean, you wreak of stately prince." She took an extra vigorous sip of her shake.

"Do I really?" She nodded. "I—" There was a screech of tires, and they both jerked their heads towards the window where a delivery truck had almost hit another car. There were several honking horns, the sounds of acceleration, and after a moment of observance Yenshi continued their discussion.

"Hey, maybe—"

"I've got it." He said quickly, a grin on his face. She looked surprised, began to question him, but he wouldn't answer her questions. He kept shaking his head, and he told her he had gotten an inspiration off of the delivery truck.

"The delivery truck?" She echoed. "What on earth could inspire you off of a food delivery truck?" He smiled mischievously. "What?"

"Obviously you weren't paying attention to what was painted on the side, or you would know instantly." He stood up. "Ready to go?"

Haku still wouldn't divulge any information up to the week prior to the ball. He seemed to be working his own magic, and wouldn't answer any questions or fall prey to any traps Yenshi may set for him.

Once one afternoon she had approached him in his room while he had been working on folding some laundry. She kept him company, talking and smiling appropriately, her eyes roaming his room for any trace of a costume. She found none, and left feeling like a sneak. Though she didn't really feel bad, either.

He kept to himself mostly. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping. Chihiro was so busy with end of term exams neither of them barely saw her. She took her meals in her room more often than not, her body bent over her desk full of homework.

One evening, with Chihiro at the library and Haku cooking some late night Ramen, Yenshi got a smidgen of a clue. She was sitting at the island, her work spread about her in an unorderly fashion, when Haku, his hands holding the pot of ramen and some chopsticks, gazed over her work.

"What are you working on now?" She sighed, setting down a paper full of computer typed writing and scribbled all over with a red pen that made corrections here, additions there.

"I'm proofreading an article for the magazine."

"Your article?" She nodded. He gazed over the pictures and scans spread around her, his lips a thoughtful line.

"Yeah." She said wearily. He set the pot down on the stove, then pulled up a stool beside her.

"I thought you were in charge of the business section and a journalist?" She nodded. "But you do more than that…." To that she sighed.

"We just took over another magazine a year ago. We're published, with great distribution, we sell like crazy, but as far as us—we who make the magazine—everyone pulls multiple jobs." She leant forward on her elbows, clasping her hands together, a pen grasped between them.

"Sometimes we help someone out, or take over when someone's out of town. Sometimes people take on little things, like a new section we just added, little tidbits and such." She ran a hand through her ponytailed hair, causing several small strands to drop in front of her face.

"We're established as far as the business world goes, but as far as our actual magazine, we're still stumbling off the ground." She smirked. "But it's rewarding. I wouldn't trade it for any job in the world."

"That's great, Yenshi." He gave her a reassuring smile, and she returned it with a smile of her own. "Do you want some Ramen?" He offered weakly as he stood up, his face bearing an expression half sheepish, half humorous, and she refused tactfully, her hands held up in front of her.

"You know, Haku," She said after a few moments. "that the ball is a masquerade and you'll have to wear a mask, right?" He nodded. "I just wanted to make sure you were tying that into your costume." She watched him carefully for any hint of a clue given by way of facial expression.

"Yes, I have been, and it works out very well." He grinned. "The mask is blue and silver." He grinned even wider as he took a bowl of Ramen and a pair of chopsticks out of the kitchen to his room. "Good night, Yenshi!" She heard him call, then she heard his door shut.

"You know, both you and Haku are giving me an awful time trying to discover what your costumes are." Chihiro shot Haku a surprise and interested expression. They sat in a suede booth at a new Italian restaurant in the next district, celebrating the finish of Chihiro's end-of-term finals.

"Am I not to be told, either?" Chihiro asked with a coy expression. He merely shook his head, twirling some linguini around a small fork. He popped the entirety of it in his mouth as Yenshi and Chihiro exchanged looks of impression and curiosity.

"Didn't you just pull for a new section on the magazine, Yenshi?" He inquired, changing the subject.

"I didn't know you liked poetry," Chihiro commented, traces of her lasagna still on the corner of her mouth. Yenshi flicked her own mouth to inform her of that fact, and continued, clearing her throat briefly beforehand.

"I'm a poet, actually." She said, half reluctantly, half proudly. Chihiro looked to Haku and both raised their brows before looking back to Yenshi.

"Let us hear some." Chihiro demanded, and Yenshi laughed, shaking the hand that held her fork. "No, I want to hear some—right now! On the spot!" Yenshi shook her head, then put her fork down with a formal gesture.

"Haku likes to write Haiku,

Mostly about a girl who wears a fuku.

But you can be assured—it's true!

That the girl is and always will be you."

Haku and Chihiro clapped grandly, though they laughed as well.

"That was truly awful," Chihiro finally managed to say. "But you rhyme pretty good for split-second demands!" She giggled, and Haku finally managed to stop chuckling, a fist over his mouth.

"I can now believe you're a poet," Haku grinned at her, and she took a grand and dramatic bow. "So will this piece be displayed prominently in the next issue." He asked.

"I think we might be withholding it for a later date." She smiled to herself, her eyes low as she played with her Italian food on her plate.

"I think I have to run," Yenshi said a few moments later, glancing at her wristwatch. "I have to finish up some things for work—see you guys at home?" Chihiro nodded.

"Be safe, okay?" Chihiro's brown eyes looked to her friend, her brows perked a touch.

"I promise. I'll pay for mine on my way out—see you at home! Bye Haku!" She slid out of the booth and trotted to the front desk after Haku had given her a smile.

Several hours later Yenshi let herself into the apartment, dropping her purse and keys onto the table in the foyer right next to Chihiro's. She ran her hand over the back of the ginger cat the stood on the island, too lazy and tired to shove it off onto the floor. She padded down the hallway, the carpet soft and relaxing to her feet.

She went to Haku's door. It was slightly open, so she didn't bother knocking, and pushed it. It gave a soft groan as it moved, and she stepped into the room. Immediately her eyes jumped. A pen shot from the dresser right into Haku's hand, giving her a start.

"Haku?" She looked around crazily.

"What?" He returned quickly, his eyes wide. She stepped into his room slowly, looking at the desk, then looking at his hand, where the blue pen was perched between his fingers. Her eyes darted back and forth between these sights.

"Was that…" She lifted a finger, vaguely pointing. "Did that pen?" She shook her head. "I just saw that pen fly off the desk into your hand!" Her mouth was agape, her brows knitted, her eyes wide.

"I'm mystified!" She exclaimed, resting her hands on her hips. "I could have sworn I just saw that—but that's perfectly ridiculous." She shook her head. "I must be really tired…I _am_ really tired."

"Maybe you should go change, Yenshi, and get some sleep." He suggested quietly, glancing at her strangely. She shook her head once more.

"Yes, I will. Goodnight, Haku." She turned and left without another word.

Haku sighed.

Haku woke up in a productive mood the next morning. He cleaned the kitchen, set up a pot of soup to slowly simmer as he tidied up the living room, foyer, and then decided to put his hands to work in the bathroom as well.

He had finally mastered the washing machine and dryer, so, after quickly checking his soup, he trotted into Yenshi and Chihiro's rooms to empty their hampers. He was just dumping a scoop of detergent into the machine when he heard the door open and shut.

Yenshi was at work, and so he called out to Chihiro, telling her where he was. He didn't get a response, and heard her banging and romping around in the bathroom. He poked his head in.

She was digging into a basket full of medicines and bandages, and her hand bled freely from a nasty gash on the palm.

"Chihiro, what did you do?" Concern was in his eyes, written on his face as he approached her, holding out his hands to take hers. She was sweaty from her run, her ponytail now a mess of onyx strands, and she wore a tan jogging set and navy blue sneakers.

Her hand was a mess of scratches and holes where a mix of blood, sweat, and dirt was caked on her palm, and she heard him utter a curse under his breath, his expression severe as he examined her ailment.

"Sit down," He commanded, and she let herself plop onto the toilet seat. He took some creams and bandages from the basket, and without a word began to dress her wound.

She remembered her thoughts once. Once, when they had spent an afternoon in a park. She had been watching him in silence, her thoughts too engrossing for her to speak. She had thought he was like a god. So perfect, so…right. His striking looks, his vocabulary and tones, his very speech more refined than any she had encountered. His posture, the very aura around him.

And now, as she gazed down on his bent head, his hair falling over his brow to shield his face from her, she still thought the same. Though he had changed. In his desire to fit in he had altered the words he used. Lessening the full potential of his vocabulary on purpose, speaking with accents and lilts more common to the people that dwelt in Tokyo.

But his aura was still striking, his looks striking. Together they dealt a blow to anyone who met him for the first time. That is, if they could appreciate and feel what was different about him.

His delicate, slender fingers darted over her cuts, cleaning them as gently as he could. Once she tensed, when he loosened a small rock embedded in her skin, and he jerked his head up, his eyes darting to her in alarm as if she had cried out.

"Did I hurt you?" She shrugged.

"No, you're fine. It's just a little sore, that's all." He nodded, but his fingers were even lighter as he continued, like whispers of a gentle wind.

When that was done he squeezed a dollop of disinfectant cream into his hand, and smoothed it over her palm. His fingers were warm, and they sent a strange tingle up her arm that then trailed down her spine.

"How did you hurt it?" His voice, melodious, low, and as gentle as his fingers, drew her from the trance she had been in.

"I slipped and tried to catch myself on a fence without thinking. It was sharp and tore up my palm, and I ended up falling anyway, and without thinking again I tried to break my fall with the same hand." She shrugged, chuckling at herself.

He shook his head, his fingers finishing their work by securing a bandage, and he looked up to her.

"You should be more careful." He said simply, still with that glorious voice that nearly made her sleepy. He was still holding her hand tenderly, though by the tips of her fingers, her palm facing her chest.

"I—I'll…I'll try." He gave her a smile, and without another word he left to continue the laundry, leaving her feeling a little lightheaded.

The morning of the masquerade, Haku woke up with an unearthly crick in his neck. He hobbled into the kitchen for some breakfast and found the apartment empty but for himself and the cats.

He dumped the cats several scoops of food before allowing himself to delve into the refrigerator.

He didn't get very far, however. Stuck to the front of the fridge with a magnet was a piece of paper with bold writing on it. He pulled it down and smoothed it out.

Meet me at 9 o'clock?

I'll be at the southern garden.

- Chihiro

Haku ran a hand through his hair. So nine o'clock was the meeting time for tonight? Well, he was ready.


	12. Silver and Blue

Wow, Your Love Is All I Want just passed it's first birthday! It's crazy to know I've been writing for this this long. Thanks to all the readers—you rock! Sorry this update took longer than I would have liked with school starting and everything. And I'm in college now. Crazy. I don't see myself as that mature. I'm only 16 so it's weird anywayz, but yeah. Scary. I'm responsible and all that good stuff. Well, here's the chapter! Hope you enjoy! Please review!

* * *

Just on the count of the masquerade, Haku didn't want to shirk his household responsibilities. He did live there without paying rent, which was something they insisted as he didn't have a job, and so he tried his hardest to keep things running smoothly, keep things tidy, and keep meals prepared and on the table.

He thought soup would be the easiest thing to make for dinner. Since Chihiro's note said she'd see him at 9pm, he doubted she'd be home for it, but thought of Yenshi and himself as he dished vegetables and meats into a big pot to simmer until dinnertime as he tossed different herbs and sprinkled spices into the mixture.

The cats kept him company. Lazily lying around the kitchen, one on the rug by the sink, frustratingly underfoot, and another snuggling into a ball on the corner of the island. He made sure he would be able to quickly swipe it off the island if Yenshi came home. She didn't approve of the cat lying on there.

He flicked on the TV, and after testing out several channels that only resulted in soap opera's or gameshows, he decided upon a humorous anime about several very different classmates.

He listened to the antics and hysterics of the show as it played through its all day marathon, washing clothes, cleaning up the kitchen, folding dried clothes, and even turned it up as he scrubbed in the bathroom.

At noon he made himself some noodles and popped open a can of soda. He was lounging on the couch, picking at the last traces of lunch when Yenshi came home.

He cursed himself, knowing the cat was probably still on the island. But it jumped off intuitively and scampered into Haku's bedroom.

She plopped onto the couch next to him, her jacket still on and rumpled, and let out a deep sigh as she took the last swig of his soda. She seemed traumatized.

"You should see the traffic. People, cars, trains—seems like the whole of Tokyo is rushing somewhere." She tried to drain the can of more beverage but failed.

"I heard something about a festival tonight," He mentioned, and a light seemed to click in Yenshi's head. "The Sin—"

"The Sinkagi Festival." She nodded blankly. "How could I forget that was tonight? Now I'm in no mood to go to any of it." She got up and chucked his soda can in the waste bin.

"Is it a large festival?" He asked her.

"Large festival? The entire city decks out for it. Probably one of the largest festivals here in Tokyo. You can't escape from it no matter where you go. I usually look so forward to it…. But I'm just too tired." She shook her head. "I'm going to go take a nap." She disappeared without further trace.

* * *

Yenshi reappeared at dinnertime, her hair a mess of tangles, her face creased with a wrinkle from her pillow, and her body shrouded in a purple sweat suit. She seemed in a dreamy state as she sniffed around until she discovered the pot of soup.

"It'll be ready in a minute," Haku was rinsing out some noodles in the sink before tossing them into the pot. "Go ahead and sit down." There were two place settings at the island, and she scooted herself into one and watched him as he finished up the makings of the meal.

"So—excited about the masquerade?" She pried. No use; Haku was expressionless and merely nodded. "Need help with your costume?" She continued. He shook his head. "You're positively evil." She pouted, folding her arms and setting her mouth in a subordinate smirk.

Haku laughed, taking her bowl and ladling some soup in it. She took it back from him and sipped at the rim. He glared at her until she picked up a spoon.

"What about you? Aren't you eating?" She asked him as he left down the hall.

"I don't have time; it's already five after seven." Her brows were lifted curiously, and a small smile spread across her lips.

* * *

Haku's trek to the train station was eventful, with the streets crowded with people in bright kimonos and costumes. They bore paper fans and banners screaming with color, large kites and toys. The streets blossomed with color and burst with lights, and the sweet and tangy aromas of food filled your head with excitement.

Musicians played traditional and lively music, the different players and groups clashing together with other singers and musicians from across the street or down one block. Acrobats twisted and turned, jumped and flipped with bright costumes of magenta, blue, green, and purple.

He had pushed and shoved his way through the abstract crowd, stumbling into the train station later than he had desired. He shuffled onto the train, mashed against the bodies around him, and had tripped out of the train car with the masses when he arrived at his stop.

Pressing on with the crowd, he made his way to the assigned meeting place, absently checking the watches of people he passed, or glancing at clocks in store windows or high on the buildings around him.

People in masks of scarlet and gold brushed by him, and little girls in their best kimonos begged for a goldfish at the stand or a bamboo skewer or sweet and spicy chicken or pork.

He was more than half an hour late, and the frustration within him seemed to peak.

But all sounds around him seemed to silence as he approached the southern garden. The moon was high in the sky, and lights from the festival flickered and danced around the trees as he took the steps to the archway as slow as he could. As soon as he reached the top it would be too late to turn back, too late to forget…too late to let go.

He took his last step and let out a deep breath.

And there he stood, all in silver and blue. His hair deep and sultry as midnight, a single stone glinting in his ear, his eyes as passionate and dark as they always were. His brows perked at the center—just barely—his lips open just a touch as he scanned the garden for her. He didn't have to look long.

On the other side, standing next to the fountain in a billowing white dress that sparkled and glittered she stood waiting for him. She turned, saw him, and a slow smile spread across her face as he approached in silence.

"I knew you'd come," was all she said, and she tilted her head to the side.

"I'm sorry—" She held a hand to her lips to silence him, then fluttered it away and smiled again—this time a sparkling grin that spread to her onyx eyes. "And you are?" With a flourish he gestured to her lustrous gown, and she fiddled with her necklace.

"A princess," She looked down with a slight smirk. "I know it's so cliché, however I couldn't resist."

"You look amazing,"

"Thank you." The fountain misted them slightly, and Haku felt his cheeks become dewy, and felt the droplets collect at the ends of his hair.

"And you are," She began, looking him over, brushing a strand of hair from his brow with a gloved finger, that finger slipping to graze over his earring. "A dragon." She gave the slightest of chuckles though with a warm grin. "Somehow I always knew."

"Should we get going?" She then asked, and he offered his arm.

They drew to the ballroom. Set up in the center courtyard where the four gardens met it was made from a massive silken canopy. Standing at one end you could barely glimpse the other.

Chihiro grew warier the closer they got, finally saying, "Do you really want to go?" He lifted his brows. "I mean—that's what we're here for, never mind, but…" She sighed. "Do you really want to go in?" He smiled, taking her hands in his.

"Come with me," And he led her back the way they had come. They glided down the steps at the fountain, and then he slid a hand around her waist, then taking her other hand high in his with gentlemanly flourish.

"Dance with me?" He then asked her.

"Right here?" She looked around at their former meeting place. They stood on the grass between the stairs to the entrance and the stairs leading to the fountain.

"You can hear the music, can you not?" His regal words and voice she smiled at before curtsying grandly. Indeed you could. The orchestra the university hired could easily be heard where they stood.

He bowed in return before taking her in his arms again and leading her into a gliding waltz.

They twirled and twirled for moment after moment, gliding in circles and spinning and dipping. Chihiro was lost in the moment as Haku dipped her here and twirled her there.

With each breeze that blew Chihiro's upswept curls around her face, with each light that reflected with a glitter in her eye he felt a pang to his stomach. Wishing this night would never end he vowed to live it to the fullest. To let go of every doubt, of every fear of rejection, of every thought of ever maybe returning to the other world.

He released those all to the wind as he spun her again, and he soon became lost in the moment as well. Though as the night wore on and both were finding their breath short, they found themselves slowing to a stop.

But Chihiro didn't draw away from Haku's arms when they stopped, neither did he pull away from her. And silence won out over speech as they looked at each other in frankness, both asking so many questions with their eyes, and both looking deep into the others' for answers.

Chihiro seemed to open her mouth to speak, but no words escaped her.

Haku slowly leant into her, his body pressing closer to hers as his lips brushed ever so cautiously over hers to rest above her cheek. His breath felt warm against her cheek and she closed her eyes, furrowing her brows as she opened her mouth as slight as a whisper, inviting him.

His cool lips met her warm ones and his body threatened to collapse under him, his stomach both hot and cold, his breath nearly stopped.

When she crept her mouth open and slid her tongue into his mouth, he pulled back a touch in surprise but returned in kind to something he hadn't quite known of, though would admit to enjoying.

The cool evening breeze, the heat in his mouth, the passion that thrummed through his chest, was enough to make his head spin with pleasure. His fingers threaded through her curls as he pulled her closer and she gave a slight whimper that made his stomach slam against a wall with pangs of hot and cold.

Somewhere in the distance a gong sounded, clanging the eleven o'clock hour, and both drew back with realizations of what exactly had happened.

"Haku—" He put a finger to her lips to silence her, and she brushed a wild curl from her face. "But…" She insisted, taking slow and steady breaths. "I just don't know what to say. I…" He was shaking his head, and she let her words drift into silence.

"Say no more, I beg of you." She looked at him, her eyes questioning. "Let us not discuss this any more—it will change everything and will not clarify what we already know." She was stricken to silence with his words. They confused her and she longed to plead for him to explain. However his expression was closed, and she kept her lips firmly together.

He took her hand in his, leading her away with the simple words, "Let's go," and they found themselves walking down the streets of the festival. They didn't stick out in their attire in the crowd of costumes and kimonos. Though Haku wasn't dressed too out of the ordinary, Chihiro's massive gown was a sight to see. Especially when you saw her upswept hair and glittering kohl eyes.

Haku's smooth gentle fingers felt warm and comforting around her own, and again they let themselves get lost in the moment. Looking at the vendors and their stalls, glancing at giggling girls or the boys that would tease them.

And it was during this time that Haku's words came to make sense to her. Without really thinking about them she began to understand what he had been saying.

That they were both feeling the same things for each other during this night, and not to discuss things lest they throw away the blessed magical moments allotted them.

Like a story she seemed to recall of a fairy tale growing up, about a princess caught in a wonderful dream and slowly she came to realize it. But was forbidden to speak of her knowledge as her perfect dream world would shatter the moment she voiced what was happening.

If voicing her feelings to him would shatter these moments, she would be content to be silent and enjoy his company, his gentle smile her way, and his warm hands that seemed to envelope her heart as well as her hands.

And so they walked through their dreamland, smiling lazily at each other, enjoying the small things like a vendors paper fan, the whiff of fresh jasmine incense, or a moment when Haku's fingers would trace the lines of her face while they waited at a stop light.

But this dream was shattered no matter how they wished it not to, and Chihiro had not even spoken a word. It was someone else's voice that sliced through the air and cruelly bit and tore at them. The voice of a nightmare that had been thought to have been boarded up forever.

Kenji stood mere paces away from them, and had cried out Chihiro's name. No one around them seemed to notice the fear that had spread to her eyes or the hate that had been dormant in Haku's eyes since his last sight of the man.

A great gong went up to warn festival-goers of the light show several streets down. It was about to start, and people began to scramble down the nearest main street in a massive river of pressing bodies that was nearly impossible to maneuver through.

He pushed through the crowd and snatched Chihiro's wrist, wrenching Haku's princess away from him. And as much as Haku tried and tried, Kenji and Chihiro were spirited away with the flow of the crowd.

He cursed mournfully, shoving this way and that in any attempt to rescue her, and finally stumbled into an ally made of the backs of vendor's stands.

He whisked his hands in the air and turned them and twirled them this way and that, his melodic voice whispering a chant as he did so. Soon his form disappeared into little more than a shimmering nothingness, and he took to the air, soaring above the heads of the people who lined the brimming streets.

He looked around furiously for any sight of them and rode a breeze down the main street, hoping for any chance he may grasp.

And then he saw her. Her billowing skirts puffing and blowing as she was dragged through the crowd. His sudden flaring anger nearly broke his spell, and knowing he couldn't hold his form any longer with this rage, he tumbled into the crowd once more and returned to his—now tingling—but human form.

Mercilessly he pushed through old woman and young businessmen. Past couples and single parents who walked with their children hand-in-hand. He raced and pushed and shoved and dove in a frantic attempt to reach her, and when she was just an arms length away Kenji slid into an empty, dingy alley, and Haku was taken further still with the crowd.

"Chihiro!" His voice rang out, seeming to penetrate the very skyscraper walls around him, and he clawed at the building's stone wall. He gasped and groaned with the effort of making his way back, sweating as his voice broke into a strangled cry that was swallowed by the surrounding noise before it was ever heard.

Slowly but surely he edged his way against the crowd to the alley, and he burst from the press of bodies into the alley and ran to where he saw Kenji and Chihiro standing in the distance.

She was struggling to get away, however he held her fast, and when Haku began to approach her eyes widened in fear.

"Don't use your magic!!!"

Her cry rose and pierced through the air with such force Haku began to stagger in disbelief.

"Haku," she began to sob, "I beg of you! I beg of you, please don't." Tears streamed down her face as she struggled still against Kenji, and Haku felt as if he had crashed into a wall. "Don't use your magic…please…no!"

For all the comments I received expressing thoughts towards Haku's being a dragon: You either know me too well by now or—what it probably is—it's that obviously predictable. lol. But what style did you expect? If you were thinking a big mask and something else obnoxiously obvious you got it wrong. That wouldn't be Haku's style, would it?


	13. Fate and Snow

**Fate and Snow**

"_Don't use your magic!!!"_

_Her cry rose and pierced through the air with such force Haku began to stagger in disbelief._

"_Haku," she began to sob, "I beg of you! I beg of you, please don't." Tears streamed down her face as she struggled still against Kenji, and Haku felt as if he had crashed into a wall. "Don't use your magic...please...no!"_

* * *

Fireworks scream and crashed, and the crowd's gasps and applause seem to echo them. All was still in the night as vendors took a moment to enjoy the spectacle, and even children were hushed and quiet.

But on an empty alley off a main street in Tokyo, turmoil was taking place physically and emotionally.

Haku stepped closer, slowly, his eyes wide and wary. Her words of warning had sent a pang into his stomach that now ached deep in his chest.

Chihiro had managed to jerk herself away and she reached for Haku, saying, " I have to tell you—"

Kenji snatches out to her, and without thought Haku reacted. His magic sliced through the air to strike Kenji in the chest. It sent him reeling backwards. Chihiro gasped, dropped down to her knees, her skirts billowing around her. A firework splayed in the sky, flooding the alley with red light. She lifted a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide and brimming with a sudden surge of tears.

Haku advanced on Kenji, and with a swish and flick of his wrist he sent him away. Kenji stumbled out of the alley drunkenly, enchanted, and Haku saw his retreating form take down the street.

Silence.

He turned around to see Chihiro kneeling on the cement, her curls limp and her hand still over her mouth. Those shocked tears that made her face tragic.

Her gown was around her in a waving heap of sparkling white that glittered like the snow at sunset. A broken angel, she seemed to be, and he longed to know why she feared him using his magic so.

He approached her slowly, without wariness but with sure and deliberate steps. He kneeled before her and held out his hand to her face, though with no real purpose beyond a comforting gesture.

"You made him go away." Haku nodded. "It was you...the first time, he went away so suddenly. It was you—your magic...that did it." He nodded again. "My hand," She reached out her hand and stared at it blankly. "When I hurt it, it healed so quickly—that too...it was you." She pitched forward with a sudden sob, catching herself with her hand, her fingers splayed out on the ground. She shook her head. She shook it and would not look at him, and he watched her patiently.

"You can't go back." She finally said, and her words surprised him. "Once you have used your magic in this world you are bound to it. You can never return, now—oh, Haku!" She looked to him suddenly. His face was serene, calm, almost void of emotion.

"I cannot—I will not—see your fate!" She exclaimed. "I will not watch you suffer. I will not see you forced to stay in this world. I have seen you stumble and fall every day. With everything you do not understand or can never understand in this world. I will not see your glory fade! I will not!"

He watched her with no change of expression, no movement, and silence lingered for several moments before he leant forward, just a bit closer to her.

"My magic was always used for you, to protect you. I have no regrets. I fear not my fate, and the past...is always written in stone." He lifted a slender finger and swept it across her cheek, wiping away tears that glistened there.

And he stood, his shoes tapping against the cement.

"Come home, Chihiro, when you wish." And he walked away. Leaving her kneeling there in the still silence. He came to the street, and turned around. She was bent over now, he could see her crying, her form blue and then green and then gold from the fireworks still ongoing.

He lifted his hand, palm-side up, and blew gently across it. A sudden breeze kicked up, and snow began to lightly fall in the late spring evening. He closed his eyes, lost in a memory.

"_It's cold up here, Haku!" She held on to his arm tighter as they soared through the sky. "Almost like winter."_

"_You should be thinking about what's going to happen when we get back to the bathhouse, Chihiro," he commented. "I don't know what Yubaba—"_

"_I like winter," She continued. Haku smiled mildly to himself, almost chuckling at how she ignored his council. "Especially snow. I love snow."_

"_Can you make snow, Haku? With your magic?"_

"_Yes, I can." was all he said._

"_Promise to make me some, someday?" He chuckled. "Promise, Haku?"_

"_I promise, Chihiro."_

The flakes caught in his hair, drifted and swirled around Chihiro. He turned and left, tears streaming his smooth, alabaster cheeks.

* * *

Chihiro walked into her apartment close to nine the next morning. She had wandered through Tokyo through the night, too distraught to do anything else. Especially come back. And Haku had told her to come home when she wished. And it was now that she wished.

But she came home to an empty apartment. Yenshi was gone somewhere, her radio still on in her bedroom, and Haku was nowhere to be seen.

She changed her clothes and came to the kitchen, reaching into the refrigerator for a bottle of water. Something fluttered above her, and she looked up to find a letter stuck to the freezer door.

In Haku's flowing handwriting "Chihiro" was written across the front of it, and with a sudden jerk of her body she ran into his room without another thought. All his belongings were gone. His room was stripped of everything that was his, everything he had acquired.

She went back into the kitchen in a daze, collapsing on the floor to read his letter.

_Chihiro,_

_This morning I am taking a train to another city in Japan. When you read this I may or not already be on my way. I thank you for everything you have done for me, and beg you to say goodbye to Yenshi for me, and thank her as well._

_As I told you last night I have no regrets. I came as I had always planned and hoped. If given the choice of coming to your world and being told I could never come back, before I came, I still would have chosen to come. Even if things did not occur as I had hoped they would._

_Those years after you left my world, every moment I anticipated when I would make the journey to yours. Every day I appealed to Yubaba to let me leave, and every night I would think of what would happen when I would see you again._

_I had always hoped and wished, Chihiro, to come to your world and be with you. Perhaps my fantasies drove me to believe that somehow we could be together as I wished us to be. But whatever the case, my hopes, my assumptions, had always been that._

_I loved you, Chihiro, before I came, while I was near you, and love you still. I doubt that will ever change. I don't wish it to._

_I see now that you wished me to return to my world, where I seem to belong. It is too late for that, however, and I must use the moment and leave Tokyo as I need to now instead._

_Your life has infinite possibilities, Chihiro. Take hold of your destiny and surpass any expectation anyone has of you. I cannot wait to see what you will become._

_I do not regret my choice to come to this world. I never will. I took the chance I needed to take, and I accept my consequences._

_My greatest joy is that I saw you for one last time as beautifully as you always have been to me, with the brilliant light of the fireworks to shine on you, and the graceful snow to shower upon you._

_I kept my promise. I made it snow._

_Haku_

She had thought there weren't any more tears left in her, but the tears she now had as she folded the letter proved otherwise. And with one great movement and without any real thought, she got up and ran out the door, flying down the steps and racing to the bus stop.

* * *

It was a lonely road Haku walked to the train station. He slouched to the ticket booth with jeans and his favorite leather jacket. His hair was slightly greasy from his lack of a shower that morning, and his eyes seemed to shine almost glazed as he passed over the money for a one-way ticket to Kyoto.

He slumped onto a bench at the terminal, letting his bag slide off his shoulder to sit beside him. He found himself fiddling with the ticket in his hand as he had months earlier on his way to Tokyo.

He took a good look around the station. Glanced at the news playing on massive screens, saw flashing ads for concerts or new video games. The fast-paced hustle and bustle of the station was much different than his personal mood, and he found it exhausting.

He couldn't let himself block out the events of the night prior from his thoughts. His mind relayed the scene over and over until he thought he might burst with the frustration swelling within him, until his thoughts drifted to lazy regret and then something else.

He could never tell you what struck him, but that would not change the fact that he was, indeed, struck with a realization that he could not board that train. Every sense, it seemed, told him to go, to board the train car when it came. But there was one small, minute part that burned in him to stay.

There were no remarkable voices in his head, there was no great epiphany of thought—he just knew he had to stay. It was a fierce, sudden burning within him. A drive he could barely resist. It burned the foundations of his reasonable thoughts and shattered the knowledge of thinking his only choice was to leave. He yearned to leave, yearned to escape everything that had happened in these past months, but he couldn't, it seemed.

And so, reluctantly, confused, he stood, slinging his bag over his shoulder and tossing a now crumpled ticket into the closest wastebasket.

* * *

Chihiro had reached the point of utter exhaustion, but she wouldn't stop. Her chest on fire, her throat aching, her body beginning to stumble, she pressed on. In through the train station door, down the steps, across the corridor, up more steps—she kept on going, her eyes frantically in search of a boy with graceful hair and piercing eyes that she knew could see through her soul.

She stumbled, slid across the floor, and picked herself up again. Her mane of hair coursing behind her like a banner, she flew around a corner, losing hope of ever finding Haku as she came to the few remaining platforms she hadn't yet searched.

Her lips puckered, and she blinked away tears as she slowed to an easy jog, looking this way and that for any sign. In crushing disappointment she crossed the corridor to take the high bridge over the train rails. And then he was there, standing before her.

* * *

Haku had no plan, no goal of what to do. Perhaps he would have been worried about not knowing what action to take, but he hadn't even thought of it. He hadn't really thought of anything, really, since he had decided he needed to stay.

And so he walked with his head bowed, his hands in his pockets, and his bag haphazardly across his back. There was the sound of a train picking up speed in the distance, the sudden blast of a horn announcing a departure, and the glass ceiling revealed a less than pleasant promise of dreary rain. And even now, the tinkling and clacking of rain on glass sounding lightly above him, around him, and he reached the height of the bridge and looked up.

She stood there, unkempt and out of breath, as surprised to see him as he was to see her. She was panting, her chest rising and falling with quick breaths, and there was a glisten upon her cheeks.

No words were spoken. No hello, no greeting, no sudden explanations or exclamations—she just sprinted and threw herself in his arms, and he enfolded her in an embrace.

"I didn't understand..." She began, and he rocked her back and forth, touching her and holding her and taking in everything about her. "I didn't know—I didn't understand. And then when I did, I tried to stop loving you. I thought that you'd have to leave someday—that you'd want to go away—and so I pushed you away. I didn't want to lose you, to get hurt—" He felt her tears against his cheek, and still he rocked her back and forth in his embrace. "And I thought you were unhappy. When I saw you struggle so hard with this world, with our cultures and our ways, my heart ached for you so much. I didn't want to see you suffer. I couldn't bear that! I knew that if you used magic in this world that you would be bound to it..."

"Forgive me, Haku—please forgive me!" She grabbed him tighter, if that was possible, and buried her face in his neck.

And Haku whispered, "All I care about is you—nothing else matters to me. Whatever world, whatever troubles, whatever I will have to face...I know I can face it if it is with you. I _will_ make it with you by my side."

And the words he had yearned to say to her for years burned from within his chest, and he drew back from her for a moment. He brushed her tousled hair from her face and looked into her magnificent eyes and said, "I love you."

The words came from every fiber of his being, every pulsing beat of his heart, and he knew no matter what would happen, everything would be all right, that from now on, he would never, ever let her leave his side.

* * *

Tokyo was perplexed. You see, on one particular spring night the city was surprised at a sudden snowfall, and then further shocked at the second shower of snowflakes the next afternoon.

And then that very night the headlines went wild when people all over Tokyo had seen a young woman and a striking young man flying over the city. No one could explain the phenomena, except perhaps, the young woman and the striking young man themselves. But when they experienced the media coverage of their escapades they could only smile and scold themselves.

It seemed that it never happened again, and so the stories drifted away and the newspapers which had caused such frenzy began to collect dust in stacks at libraries, only to be occasionally seen by a student or librarian looking through old issues.

And while the couple did, in fact, continue their escapades (in much more secret than before), people supposed that the mysterious couple had just been Spirited Away.

They had. But in a completely different way...

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Please go here (without the spaces, of course): http:www . livejournal . com / users / denialofreality / 48583 . html#cutid1


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